You don't know what you have got until you lose it right? cliche but so true. Mwewa flinched in pain as the nurse cleaned him up, the cloth placed in his mouth was there to help him not to scream. It was hurting, his body was in pain and sometimes he felt like he couldn't take it anymore but a part of him wanted to hold on; for his little girl.
'I am afraid the cut is not healing, it is actually infected and we might need to stitch it up again.' The nurse told him
He felt a lump form on his throat, when he was so sure he was healing it had to get worse.
'Mr. Mwewa we need your approval to do this.' She said to him
'I will leave you the forms so that you can sign them or if you have a next of kin that can sign on your behalf.' She said before walking out
He spat the cloth from his mouth and screamed his lungs out, he let out this agonizing cry that he had been holding back. He was in pain but death was far away from him too.
The tears burned on his cheeks as he thought of what the nurse had said, Ellie had dipped the blade enough to make him suffer but not enough to kill him.
When he had been brought in they told him a professional had done it, that she knew it wouldn't kill him but make him suffer for a very long time.
He trembled as he signed them, a mixture of tears and mucus falling to his chest.
He had no idea that CCTV cameras were installed in the room, the people on the other end wanted to make sure that he doesn't attempt suicide.
'You know that cut can be treated in a different place with trained doctors right?' One of the men asked
'We got strict instructions and we shall follow them to the end.' The other man responded
Yande was watching them not saying a word, he wasn't working with them or for them but they all had the same cause; to see this to the end.
He walked out of the room when he had seen that Mwewa had composed himself and went to his room. It was enough that the man was suffering, he couldn't walk in on him whilst crying; he couldn't, he might have done wrong but at least let him still carry his ego.
'How was your night?' Yande asked hands dipped in his pockets
Mwewa smiled
'Sleep doesn't do much when it's the soul that is tired.'
'I see.'
'How was your night Yande?'
'I slept in my bed, it was good enough.' he responded a little sarcasm in his voice
Mwewa laughed lightly
'You don't have your recorder today?'
'I do, you want to start?'
'Yes please.'
'Okay.'
***
The problem with being dishonest is you have to continue lying in order for you to stay in that lie. That was the case with me, I had been keeping so many things from my wife that I just couldn't come out clean; well not that I wanted to.
I left home that mormkng making her feel like a fool, I know I hurt her. In many ways than I can imagine now but it was the only way for me to keep this thing with Abby going.
I went to pick up Abby but unfortunately she wasn't yet ready, she didn't allow me to stay in the car so she asked me inside. She was staying in a two rooms self contained apartment. It was neat and decorated in white and grey, a part of me wondered how she managed to pay for the place because she was just an intern and a student too.
After about twenty minutes she emerged from the bedroom wearing shorts and a vest, she told me she liked to look like that when she was home.
Initially I had wanted to take her out but she refused saying she loved being home on weekends and the week had been stressful so it was better to be home.
She made us breakfast which we had on the carpet as it was more comfortable then I made her watch an episode of Game of Thrones, I couldn't get over that she had never seen a single one of them. But after seeing Jason Momoa I regretted making her watch it because she was all over him - women. So I was forced to download Conan the barbarian, Justice League, Aquaman and Braven which we watched through out.
***
'Tell me something.' Yande said pausing his recorder
'Yes.'
'These are things you could have done with your wife, what happened?'
He sighed
'So much happened, having a child. Both of us getting busy with work. We were accustomed to each other, it was no longer the same. It was in that moment whsn her touch increased my headache instead of reducing it.'
Yande looked at him without a word
'It was at that moment when saying I love you became a ceremonial thing. Yande family survival was top of the family list and care giving and romantic plays were swept under the carpet. This was a time when Ellen started taking all our attention. And the phone calls that normally ended with I love you and I miss you began to end with words like; has Ellen eaten? How was her performance at school today?'
'Why didn't you become the sane one when that moment came? why didn't you keep your head straight and worked towards redeeming the situation? I mean we all know that such moments come.'
'You don't have to answer that.' Yande added
'What happened afterwards.'
***
We had lunch together as we continued to watch the movies, it was innocent. None of us tried anything funny and for the first time in a long time I had genuine fun without feeling guilty and it was actually relaxing.
I left her place around 5pm, she had to force me out saying I needed to see my family but I promised to see her the following day after church and told her I would cook for her.
***
'What was innocent about spending time with another woman? One that your wife didn't know about?'
'Nothing happened.'
'Okay.' Yande said packing his recorder and walking out
Mwewa remained thinking of what Yande had asked, what was alarming about his situation is that he didn't at all feel guilty for this. He had no regrets and maybe it made the pain a bit bearable but he couldn't help but think of Abby, she didn't deserve what she went through.
Yande cleared his throat
'This is enough for today.' He said and walked out
His driver was waiting for him in the car, he got in and looked at his partner that was seated on the other side of the passenger's seat.
'Are you sure you still want to go on with this seeing your relationship with.'
Yande didn't allow him to finish
'This is my job before anything else, I will finish the rest of the days with them and report to the judge.' He said angrily and they drove off.
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