I heard – and felt – a sound escape me. It was a cross between a moan and a purr; and it came off like a lazy meow stuck in my throat. I arched my back and pushed myself against her. My hands were restless. I wanted to latch on to something. This was where I would have grabbed a handful of bed sheet. But were on the sofa, not the bed; and there were no sheets. So I thrashed out in vain. Ari grabbed my hand and locked her fingers around mine, stroking the back of my thumb with her thumb to soothe me. The sexiest thing was that she held my eyes the entire time she was eating me out. My feet started to tingle and I curled my toes. I took her hand and pushed it underneath my shirt. She cupped a boob, and I twisted around to undo the clasp of my bra and free myself of my upper clothing. I was now completely naked. She grazed my nipples with the palm of her hand until they were shocked into attention.
Without breaking eye-contact, she came up and lay on top of me. “Come ‘ere” she said as she gave me a kiss. It was so tender…….the words…….the kiss…….That had to be the thing about girls: they were so tender, even when they were sinewy and androgynous. It made me want to roll over belly-up like a puppy. The kiss was messy this time because I was drooling so hard. But she didn’t seem to mind the slobber, even when it left a sagging thread of saliva between us as she withdrew. I tasted myself on her.
“Come back here” I said to her, grabbing a fistful of her sweatshirt and pulling her to me. She obliged me by inserting her index and middle fingers into my vagina and stroking me. She buried her face in my neck and I wrapped my arms around her, caressing her as though I had known her all my life. I did not recognize myself. The noises that came out of my mouth were alien to me – uninhibited squealing and whining that left me more than a little bit embarrassed. But I couldn’t stop my mouth from doing things without my permission. At one point, Ari had to ask if I was okay, and my response was to tighten my grip around her.
I felt myself bursting all over her fingers. Ari slid downwards and buried her face between my thighs, jabbing a direct tongue into the wetness. The sensation sent fresh tremors through my thighs. I pressed my legs together trapping her head between my thighs, and she instinctively held on to them but she didn’t pull them apart. Somewhere in the back of my mind, there was that lurking fear that i might suffocate her to death, but I couldn’t not trap her head right there where it was because it felt like heaven.
When she rubbed my thighs, giving one a light pat, I knew she needed to come up for air. “Sorry” I said. She picked up a random item of clothing from the floor and wiped her face with it. Then she nestled herself in the sofa beside me. It was a very snug fit. “What is it?” she asked, flicking at a tear that had escaped from my left eye. I hadn’t realized I was welling up. I shook my head in response to her question. It was all I could think to do. She kissed me on the cheek and wrapped her arms around me. I couldn’t explain why I felt so overwhelmed in that moment.
I wanted to touch her.
I thought to myself, this is how you fall in love: you let a girl fvck you good. I put my hand beneath her sweatshirt and felt her abs. They were hard. But soft too in a way; her skin was soft. I propped myself up on my elbow and stared down at Ari, “I want you to come…….like I did.” She caught a stray strand of hair that had fallen over my eyes, tucked it behind my ear, and met the challenge in my eyes, “Make me.” “Take off your shirt.” I said to her, and she discarded her hoody, revealing her skinny elongated torso and small tits. I put my mouth on a nipple and pushed her pack into the sofa so that I could lie on top of her. I didn’t know what I was doing. Ari’s hands were all over me again – she grabbed my ass and squeezed – but she let me catch her wrists in my hands and pin them to the sofa before I kissed her. I didn’t want her to take over again. I had a sense she was about to flip me over and be the top. Maybe that was what she was used to.
I put my lips on every inch of her body, kissing her like I needed it to survive. It was more like ‘lip-caresses’ than kisses really. The muscles in her pelvic area had such great definition that I half expected to discover a dick when I unzipped her fly and peeled off her boy-shorts. I registered her lady parts with a whiff of inexplicable disappointment – woman – all woman. It’s funny that everything came down to the genitals. She had so many masculine attributes in the arc of her brow, the structure of her nose, the shape of her hands…….And so many feminine attributes as well; in the curve of her lips, the tenderness of her skin, the length of her neck……..But all that didn’t matter because the decider was always the genitals. They alone could banish a person to either side of the divide. But was there a divide, really? If anything, ambiguous people like Ari were a reminder that gender was unreal, and singling out genitals over other body parts as a gender marker was a perversion. There was a spectrum; and people could fall at the extremities of masculine and feminine ideals based on a summation of their individual features, or (like Ari) they could fall nearer to the middle. In the end, we were all both male and female, brandishing a range of seemingly conflicting attributes. But nature’s harmony was a curious thing: it wasn’t about collecting like terms. Maybe I would have found Ari’s anatomical ambiguity a lot more intriguing if she had whipped out a dick – small, slender, and undecided just as she was herself. I felt instantly guilty for thinking that.
“You don’t have to do anything you are uncomfortable with” Ari said. She had misread me. She evidently thought that I was freaking out over the thought of giving her head. It was better than the alternative – she could have read me correctly and subsequently concluded it was her unconventional femininity that thrilled me. Was that what it was?
I have to admit: eating pussy for the first time was scary. Heck, even looking at pussy for the first time, from an objective viewpoint, was scary. But given the situation and thinking about how Ari had gone all out for me, I didn’t think it would be very ethical to refuse to reciprocate. And besides, I really wanted to make her feel good, so I proceeded to slide south. Ari caught me midway, “Seriously, you don’t have to” she repeated. I ascended, kissed her lips and stared intently into her eyes, “Don’t you want me to?”
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