Your Facebook Status Updates By 2050.
1. Ouch my back is very painful!!!
2. These gray hairs. WTF!!!
3. My Grandchildren are coming to visit
me. Huh! Feels so good!.
4. Anybody with a walking stick, hit my
inbox.
5. My youngest daughter is finally married
and I'm now lonely in this big house!
Anyway, I'm happy for her.
6. Damn! How does my Grandson expect
me to chew corn with only three teeth left
in my mouth!.
7. WTF! Can't believe my grandson is
asking me where I kept my teeth.
------------------------------------------
There were four deadly smokers in a small
town. The four of them were close friends
and they will always walk around the
street everyday smoking. One day, they
strolled into a nearby town smoking when
a group of policemen saw them and asked
them to come over, they came and the
eldest among the policemen confronted
them about their smoking habits and
included it was an offence.
POLICEMAN: What are you guy smoking
for? Don't you know it's dangerous? The
first smoker came closer, drew his cigar
stick, blew the smoke and said,
"Inspiraaaaationn!"
The second one came closer as well as the
policemen were looking anxiously, drew
his stick as well, blew the hair and said,
"Demonnnnstraaation!"
The third smoker blew his stick and said
as well, coming closer, "Respiraaaaaation!"
Now the police officers were getting
tensed as the guys were acting and could
figure they weren't even afraid of their
presence.
The last smoker did the same as well and
said, "Meditaaaaaationnn!" for three
minutes, everywhere was silent and just
then the senior officer moved forward, took
the cigar stick from one of them, smoked
it and said, "Good, good! Now everybody,
to the staaaaaation!"
------------------------------------------
To all my classmates who refused to tear
the middle of their higher education
notebook foor me to write a test, hope
you’re still using that note.
To those who refused to open their note
for me to copy, I hope you’re all working at
Chevron or Microsoft Company now.
For the class captain who always writes
my name as one of the noisemakers in the
class, I hope you’re the Chairman of your
Local Government now!
------------------------------------------
My classmate Okiemute and I were
arguing over something when our class
teacher came in and asked what is all the
noise for? I replied, ''Ma, we found this
500 Naira Note at the school farm and we
agreed that whoever tells the biggest lie
will get it. The teacher exclaimed, ''Shame
on the two of you, when I was at your age
I didn't even know what a lie was. I
handed the 500 Naira to the teacher and
said, ''Wow! Ma, that is the biggest lie I
have heard in my entire life.
------------------------------------------
When human body was first made, all the
parts wanted to be the Boss.
The brain said, ''I should be the Boss
because I control the whole body
responses and functions.
The legs said, ''We should be the Boss
because we take the body to where it
wants to go''.
The hands said, ''We should be the Boss
because we do all the work and earn all
the money.
The mouth said, ''I should be the Boss
because I take in all the food and water.
And so it went on like this with the heart,
the lungs and the eyes all speaking until
the buttocks spoke up.
All the parts of the body laughed at the
buttocks saying how can it be the boss. So
the buttocks went on strike. It blocked its
hole and refused to poo. Within a short
time the eyes became swollen, the hands
became fat, the legs grew large and
unable to work, the stomach started
growing big, the heart and the lungs
started to panic, and the brain was unable
to think. As the stomach grew bigger and
about to burst open. The whole parts of
the body all pleaded with the buttocks and
agreed it should be the Boss.
Now, my pray for you is, That place where
you have been ridiculed, may they come
back to celebrate you in Jesus name
(amen).
Good night
