YOU DON'T NEED TO BE A
MILLIONAIRE TO GET MARRIED
It's very good for young people to be
ambitious and high aiming, to try and be
the best they can be and to push
aggressively for it. It is also good for a young man to desire a good starting
point for his family. What he doesn't need
is to get himself confused and lost in the
desire to get a perfect start. In this trade,
you learn and upgrade on the job,
improve as you go. That's what eventually becomes the priceless
experience that get.
The basic starting point as defined by
each individual is different, each
individual is different. However, in every
given society, the same basic starting point applies to defined strata of the
society. This means that a particular
social class will have approximately the
same basic requirements.
For the average today, the basic is
will,capability,acceptability and permission.
Will is personal and is mostly primarily
defined by the individuals involved, the
male and the female. It is the love they
claim to have which has triggered a
desire and certainty of purpose. Capability is the ability to express will in
terms of executable actions. It is divided
into different forms ranging from finance
to physical/mental condition.
These two are the more important ones,
without which a union of any form cannot be seen to have occurred voluntarily.
Acceptability and Permission are mostly
functions of social and religious tenets,
what is seen as socially/religiously okay,
unique family practices etcetera.
Will is not the issue with most youths as they have this in excessive supply, the
problem usually lies with capability with
the main one being around finance.
You need means, you need shelter, that
is the minimum. Well, we don't pray to be
on this level but some are doing wonderfully well there. To the average,
one might want to add a proper means of
transportation to it and then pay a little
more attention to the details of the
shelter.
If you look at it critically, this is not impossible to acquire and as a matter of
fact, most already have these acquired.
You get to ask what more it is that they
want then?
The honest truth about it is that, finance
was never the problem, it has always been an issue of will. The same will
thought to be in excess does not exist at
all. People are scared of commitments
because society has painted it as a
prison of sorts. When people say "I am
not ready", the world assumes for them by default that it has something to do
with finance while in the real sense they
don't know what it is they are not ready
for. So, I ask you again, what are you not
ready for?
Committing to a single person at the expense of all the side chicks?
Spending your income on a family rather
than just yourself?
Having to head home from work instead
of the club?
When exactly do you think you will be ready then? in 5 years? be real with
yourself.
You are never going to be ready, nobody
is ever totally ready, people just sort the
basics and get started. The conditions
are never going to be perfect, the perfection you seek has to be kick-
started by you. No matter how long you
push it forward, that humble beginning of
little experience and lots of mistakes still
awaits you. You are not going to acquire
how to manoeuvre a marriage by staying single.
You haven't found the qualities you want
in a lady? it's been a decade of waiting
for the right qualities. Who do you think
you want to get? do you actually think
you deserve that person? (it's not like you are perfect too). So, let me get it, you are
delaying commitment because you are
waiting to discover attributes you know
you can't get? (still insisting you can get
what you want?), you already had what
you wanted, in all the ladies you pushed away. You cannot wake up and pick up a
polished gem (you think the person who
polished that gem is a fool?). Go and get
your own diamond in the rough then cut
and polish it to your perfection.
If she's meant for you, she will be willing to start small with you giving that you
have satisfied the basics. It's good to
have tens of millions but do you know
when that will be for you? (what? you
think the people who are average in their
old ages planned to be average?). Everybody plans big and hopes bigger till
reality clips the wings. Are those the
variables over which you want to base
your forever? You have constants like
energy,zeal,intelligence and drive, why
wait on luck form the future? that's just lazy.
Take your time to select a partner, pray
too. The qualities of the most beautiful
women isn't on their body, it's tucked
away, hidden in their character and
abilities. (You that followed rude yellow babe that cannot cook, "Na God win").
(Blacky, I'm not siding you, no be every
black beautiful).
Seriously though, you need to be able to
look beyond the physical, age will take it
away anyway so what then? look for values that will last forever. Inner beauty,
humility,intelligence,finesse,ability to
cook (or at least learn),perseverance and
self control, these are the things that will
make your house a home, not her looks.
Decide today on the direction you want to face then carry the lady of your choice
along. Don't be scared to concede a part
of your life (that's what love is about).
You'll find that women are capable of
more than we give them credit for. the
right woman will suddenly make you see how your problems have been halved.
That's the secret a lot of "capable men"
will not disclose to you, they only
contribute half of the success.
