After 37 years of marriage,
Jake dumped his wife for his
young secretary. His new girlfriend demanded
that they live in Jake and
Edith’s multi-million dollar
home. Since Jake had better
lawyers, he prevailed. He gave Edith, his now ex-
wife, just 3 days to move out. She spent the 1st day packing
her belongings into boxes and
crates. On the 2nd day, she had two
movers come and collect her
things. On the 3rd day, she sat down
for the last time at their
beautiful dining room table by
candlelight, put on some soft
background music, and
feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of
Chardonnay. When she had finished, she
went into each and every room
and stuffed half-eared shrimp
shells dipped in caviar into the
hollow of all the curtain rods.
She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When Jake returned with his
new girlfriend, all was bliss for
the first few days. Then slowly, the house began
to smell. They tried everything-
cleaning, mopping, and airing
the place out. Vents were
checked for dead rodents and
carpets were cleaned. Air fresheners were hung
everywhere. Exterminators
were brought in to set off gas
canisters during which they
had to move out for a few
days and in the end they even replaced the expensive wool
carpeting. Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to
visit. Repairmen refused to
work in the house. The maid
quit. Finally, they could not take the
stench any longer and decided
to move. A month later, even though
they had cut their price in half,
they could not find a buyer for
their stinky house. Word got
out and eventually even the
local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally they had to
borrow a huge sum of money
from the bank to purchase a
new place. Edith called Jake and asked
how things were going. He told
her the saga of the rotting
house. She listened politely
and said that she missed her
old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce
settlement in exchange for
getting the house back. Knowing his ex-wife had no
idea how bad the smell was,
he agreed on a price that was
about 1/10th of what the
house had been worth, but
only if she were the sign the papers that very day. She
agreed and within the hour, his
lawyers delivered the
paperwork. A week later, Jake and his
girlfriend stood smiling as they
watched the moving company
pack everything to take to their
new home… Including the curtain rods.
