I get a fair number of emails asking amount finding the right
mentor; fellas asking if I can tell them how to get a mentor or if
I can in some way mentor them, it’s after reading the question
that I break the news that I’ve never really had a real, solid
mentor before, just friends who I bounce ideas off of, and
books. ( Like These: 5 Books Every Guy Should Read) Books are, by in
large, my mentors. And
while I’d love for the right mentor
to come along, I’m not going to
hound someone to take me under
their wing, nor am I going to
turn a blind eye to the fact that I
can have Robert E Lee as my
mentor if I simply buy a book about him or that Napoleon can
be my mentor one week, and Christ, the next.
Lincoln has been my mentor, as has Churchill. Eric Greitens is
my mentor right now, and Epictetus is next on the list. I’ve had Marcus Aurelius as my mentor, as well as Seneca; Joseph
Campbell and Greg McKoewn; Chris Kyle and Paulo Coelho.
Mark Owen has been my mentor and John Eldridge before
him. Louie Zamperini is one of my favorite mentors, but so
was Viktor Frankl.
I’ve learned a lot from the likes of Dale Carnegie and Henry
David Thoreau. Steven Pressfield taught me about “turning
pro”, and Emerson taught me about self-reliance. Napoleon Hill
helped forge my idea what what “rich” truly is and the stoics
continue to be my guides through a world that places value on
things that lack value, importance on this that are unimportant
and praise on things that serve no purpose.
Seth Godin taught me about marketing and story telling,
Greitens about resilience and what it means to truly live a life of
service. David Deida taught me about those very confusing
and beautiful beings that are women, and Theodore Roosevelt
showed me what it means to be a man. Hemingway taught
me how to write, though I’m still barely a novice and Dan
Kennedy, the same. Tony Dungy showed me true wisdom,
the Apostles, true grace.
I do not discount the importance of having a good mentor,
their value cannot be measured, but I also understand that we
can’t all find one, and looking for one is simply not the way to
go about doing it.
If you really want a mentor, be of service.
If you want to learn from someone, offer value and continue
offering value as often and as frequently as possible. Don’t ask
them to be your mentor. If they’re in any way successful they
won’t have time to take you under their wing unless you’re
taking some load off their back.
