**************Saturday 24th
June 2006******************** I stopped an stared at my
reflection on the Macy’s store
window, many people passing
by would probably think I was
staring at a dress I longed to
have when I saved up enough money but I was actually
having a flashback before I
passed the One place that led
me to the person that saved
my life. A year and five months 4 hours
and 25 minutes had passed
since “the day” and every time
I walked past Salvare street I
just kept having a thankful
flashback sometimes I’d cry, other days I’d smile but today
was different I stopped
involuntarily to look at myself
just at the point I may have
gone. Many may not understand my
story, others may think it’s
ridiculous but really that was
the beginning of my actual
life,life the way I and everyone
else is supposed to live. ***********************Friday,
24th June
2005**************************** The day I got life rather than
lose it like I wanted to. I had so
much going on for me a 17-
year-old girl.Life seemed to
tumble me around especially
for the past month. I had failed a couple of test I
studied so hard for while
people cheated and got high
points.My Uncle lost his job so
I had to be put in a free
education school,it was that or no education at all so I had to
go with the lesser of the two
evils. I literally had no friends
because all the people I
thought were my friends
betrayed me, it felt like I was
alone. Everyone’s life around
me was so idyllic while mine was the antipode. I was just a
dark hollow and empty soul
breathing oxygen and
wondering each day why my
life was so different from
normal.The last memory I had of life being good to me was
when I was five, with a happy
family then my Dad got sick
and passed away. My Mum
started drinking and taking
drugs, she was being taken to a rehabilitation center. My
Sister and I were being taken
away, my sister to my
grandmother and I was given
to my Uncle John. Ever since I
hadn’t heard from anyone of them and I never felt loved
because my Uncle never really
had time for me..I had eight
cousins so well the love got to
me last and least or nothing at
all. It felt like no one even cared about me for a minute. ********************Still, 24th of
June
2005************************ I decided I had enough of
Life’s cruelty and I couldn’t
take it anymore. I had found a
panacea to all of my
problems…to end my life. I
mean what is Life when it’s not worth living. I had gotten
Aconite poison to take
immediately I had got to the
dark corner of Salvare street.
For a Second or two I heard a
voice saying” Felicita don’t do this, Life could get better ” but
then I thought “Well, if I die I
won’t feel hurt anymore and
besides no one would notice
I’m gone, when the cleaners
come to clear up in the morning they’d just meet my dead and
cold body and probably throw it
away”. I walked past Macy’s just a
few more walks and then I’d be
gone,but then I saw a post
saying in bold print “But God,
being rich in mercy, because of
the great love with which he loved us, even when we were
dead in our trespasses, made
us alive together with Christ—by
grace you have been saved”
EPHESIANS 2:4-5. I looked at
it and read it aloud a couple of times…”LOVE” is what I want
to feel, ”DEAD” is what I want
to be. I decided to go into the
building, maybe they had
something more to tell me. I sat
at the back row as I listened to the man on the stage
speak,after an hour he said
“The Lord has ministered to me
about someone here who is
tired of life and is looking for
unconditional love to be able to make it through, please come
up to the stage if you may” “Wow”, I thought to
myself,does this place have a
mind reader or something as I
slowly and shyly went up to the
stage.” Let us pray” he said.He
told me if I accept Jesus as my personal Lord and Saviour that
through him life is found,the
word “Yes” came out of my
mouth involuntarily and right at
that moment I felt peace and
love. I felt different and reborn much in a way I couldn’t
explain.
He gave me a book “The Bible”
and told me to read it and
discover life through it which I
did and now that I understand God better I do realize that he
was that little voice that told me
not to end life,he gave me
another chance and a better
life. I did die, I lost my pain and
got reborn in Christ with Joy, Love,
Peace and Happiness
Though the Church relocated,
Macy’s served as a Memory
mark for me anytime I passed
Salvare street which by the way means “Saved” in Latin.I
got saved and found Life in
Abundance and things in my
life definitely got better. Guess
Happy endings do exist or do I
say Happy beginnings wonder my mum named me Felicita…
the END “I hope we all learnt from this
beautiful story, when life hits
you and gets you depressed,
find hope in Jesus don’t end it”,
I said to the Sunday School
Children as I closed the book written by Felicita Chantez with
the title “SALVARE”
