!!!!What I Never Told AnyOne Continuation!!!!
WHEN GOD STEPPED IN
Prayers Work
When I finally got past my prayerlessness and decided to
hold the Lord on the helm of his garment, I never let go. I
converted my sleepless nights to prayer nights. It gave me
the strength I needed to face each harrowing day and
with time, God gave me eyes that saw only miracles even
when all was glaring us in the face was hopelessness.
His Ways are Not Our Ways
At birth, she couldn’t move her legs. They were stiff but
gradually, she began to kick and even the doctors were
astonished by the changes they saw in her. “This Dadzie
Baby is a fighter oh!” one of them said, “see how she’s
kicking me. madam, hold her legs while I take her blood.”
These were the same people who said those legs will be
forever immobile. Another thing the doctors noticed was
her intelligence. Of course, they couldn’t yet conclude
because she was too young to respond to their mental
tests but they were very certain her level of intelligence
was more than a normal baby’s. Their conclusion was that
the excess fluid in the brain had put pressure and awoken
some parts. My conclusion: I serve a Mighty God. When the
wound on her back got infected because of that nurse’s
negligence, I was distraught but God let it happen for two
reasons. The first being that if it had healed at the normal
pace, we would have gone home and would have returned
again for the hydrocephalus treatment to start lobbying
for space and surgery opportunity, increasing our stress,
so he spared us that one. Secondly, the wound took its
time to heal, forming a strong and solid scar which has no
chances of reopening at all. Several cases were brought
back for repair because the surgery site reopened. I even
saw a case of a boy of two years old come back for
corrective surgery.
It Could Have Been Us
I saw babies die around me till the point I mentally lost it. A
particular baby, David who was slated for surgery two
days after Kayla’s died a day after she had her own. He
was his mother’s third deceased child; she was my best
friend in the hospital. How many times I asked God ‘why’
in that hospital, I would never know. Eight babies in that
same ward died during my stay and I watched as they
would place their bodies inside a carton and cart away
with them as if they were rotten goods. I also watched
the mothers go through unthinkable grief and I often
wondered if my own turn would come. I thought Kayla’s
case was bad until I saw worst cases in her category
where babies had the absence of certain vital bones in
the head to cover the brain or babies who carried the
head size of grown men. Each time I was faced with such
scenarios that had defied medical help, I would silently
thank God for making things easier for me. You don’t want
to know the pain and horror that line the walls of
hospitals; you don’t want to be there. Thank God that you
are where you are and how you are and quit complaining
about yourself and your children. You have no idea how
precious it is to go into labor and come out with a healthy
baby. Stop complaining and thank God! You are certainly
better than so many.
The Doctors
Quote me again on this: The doctors in LUTH are
wonderful people and that is why I am very mad at
Governor Fashola for how he handled this doctor’s strike
and all. Given, some of them are like the nurses from hell
but generally, the doctors’ ethics in that hospital is one
that should be commended. If I missed anything during my
stay there, it would have to be them. I remember all of
them by name because they made our stay there worth it.
One of them actually told me that I should forget
everything they told me would go wrong with Kayla and
hold on to God because he had the final say. thank you
Doctor Rotimi!
THE STORY SO FAR
Today, Makayla has defied all medical pronouncements.
We still have the occasional heart in our mouths moment
like every morning we check to see if her head size is
increasing or reducing and I even take measurement but so
far everything is as the doctors said it would be. Of
course, for her first few her years, her head would be a
bit larger than expected because the bones in the skull are
slow in fusing but as she grows, she would be perfect.
She is still learning how to stand as her legs are weak but
her progress so far is astounding. The last checkup at the
doctors’ had one of them saying ‘Madam, I don’t know
why you still come here. Your baby is okay.” As for her
bowel movements, no problems there. She has begun
potty training because she actually pushes when she
wants to fart or stool and these were the signs I was
told to look out for. We are combining alternative
treatments like physiotherapy for her legs and
homeopathy but generally, things are looking up. Her
development is astounding and she’s a normal kid.
I wouldn’t want to bore you with any more details but it
will take a whole book to write what we went through,
how people reacted, what we had to face each day and
so on.
Below is a link to find out more about Spina Bifida and
Hydrocephalus. I know some of you are as oblivious as I
was about these conditions and it would not hurt to find
out about them to help people who are going through it
around you. Generally, a lack of folic acid in the mother
causes this. Let me state it clearly that I took my
antenatal vitamins judiciously when I discovered I was
pregnant but since Spina Bifida occurs in the first month,
and most mothers don’t know they are pregnant then, it
is advisable for women planning to get pregnant to begin
taking Folic Acid three or more months before conception.
Let me state this clearly again for those of you who are
wondering. I went for four scans that showed nothing.
Why? Have you seen our scanning equipments in Nigerian
hospitals, private and public alike? They buy used
machines from the 1980s (if I’m not exaggerating) and
these things can hardly turn on, let alone show the
presence of a problem. For those of you in Lagos, do your
scanning at LUTH. They have good scat scan machines
there. They’re all colored and all, not sepia
A WORD OF ADVICE
Whenever you meet Special Children and their parents,
please refrain from doing the following
1. Funny, uncomfortable faces.
2. Using words like ‘retarded’, ‘deformed’,
‘handicapped’, ‘disfigured’… They hurt like hell and it
doesn’t matter if it comes from family.
3. Offering help or solutions unless you are certain the
parents have no idea what to do. First, get
background information about the situation and
don’t start with ‘what is wrong with your baby?’
4. Trying to figure out what caused it. Leave that for
the doctors. If you want to know more about the
situation, Google it. People have come to me and
asked, ‘where you drinking when you were
pregnant?’ ‘did you take hard drugs or herbal
medicine?’ ‘were you not taking your antenatal
viatamins?’ And some go further to make it all
spiritual “your mother-in-law is behind it’, ‘who did
you annoy?’ ‘what is your sin?’. Please, don’t do
that.
Believe me all these things I listed above are what
mothers with special needs children complain about. If
sadly, you have been one of those insensitive people,
here’s how you can amend your ways.
1. Prayer and encouragement. It’s never too much.
2. Take time out to care for that child even if he/she
cannot respond to you. Babies that receive love and
care like cuddling and warmth always end up
surviving than ones that are neglected.
3. Stay away if you cannot handle it. Bad energy or
attitude can never help anybody.
4. You can always help by visiting these special kids
during holidays, taking diapers, baby products and
stuff to them. During my stay, I looked forward to
seeing a certain Catholic priest that showed up
every Sunday.
In conclusion, I am glad I shared this story. Like I said, I
didn’t know something like this existed until Makayla was
born. Nevertheless, her birth gave me the courage I needed
to start my life again and she is the reason I write. She is
also the reason I have faith in God. Trusting God takes on
a whole new meaning for me because I had to believe he
was still who He was even when I didn’t see him at work
and that was the hardest part of my whole ordeal. I
literally got to the point where I was willing to lay my
Isaac (Makayla) down as my own sacrifice to him. By his
love, he brought her back to life and into my arms again
and each day, I see his mercies. My life was going in a
particular direction until she came and God took me on a
road I never knew existed. Life changes for you when you
enter a place like a hospital to live there. All your hopes
and dreams would meet reality and they would either die
there or be reborn. Mine had to die to be reborn. I can say
with all certainty that I was glad I went through what I
went through and I know I speak for Owen too. We still
need your prayers and so do families going through similar
situation We are grateful to family and friends that stood
by us. But more importantly, the Lord Jesus Christ, the
great healer.
Finally, Owen and I have taken it upon ourselves to from
time to time fund surgery for Spina Bifida and
Hydrocephalus cases. It costs only N9,750, about $61. If
you want to be part of it, please contact me through
email
[email protected] These children need our
help as so many cases are turned down because of lack
of funds from the parents.
God Bless You for reading and please share.....