Maternity leave
You don’t have to worry about hiding erections at inappropriate
times.
Ugly women can get laid, but ugly guys can’t.
A woman can never be sent to jail for slapping her husband.
Strange guys in bars will buy you drinks.
You can sue for sexual harassment and not get made fun of.
You dominate fashion magazine covers.
Artists will cut off their left ear for you.
If you don’t like sports, that’s okay.
If you are sensitive, and no one thinks you’re gay.
Guys will pay for everything.
You don’t have to worry about asking guys out on dates, you
can just wait for the guys to come to you.
You smell better.
Society deems you the “gentle gender.”
You aren’t expected to know anything about cars.
You’re allowed to cry.
You’re allowed to have stuffed animals.
You’re allowed to carry a bag with all the stuff you may need
for an outing.
Lesbians are more accepted than a guy being gay
Male store clerks rush to your assistance.
Strangers will stop to help you change a flat.
You can walk through the lingerie section of a store and not feel
awkward.
Guys think you look good even without makeup or in sweats
(really.)
The less you wear, the more popular you become.
You are never challenged with making a guy have an orgasm.
You don’t need a cool car to get laid.
You can stay home all day and live off your spouse without
being deemed a lazy bum.
Multiple orgasms.
You never have to fix anything around the house.
If you go to the bathroom in pairs or groups, no one thinks
you’re gay.
You can leave your boyfriend for any reason, and everyone will
take your side.
Your hormones don’t make your voice crack, just your breasts
bigger.
Unclad women are beautiful, Unclad men are hideous.
Women can get drunk and not act like assholes.
You get to blame mood swings on your period no matter what
time of the month it is.
57. You never have to worry if the people in your gym locker
room are checking you out.
Guys are willing to bury their faces in the most obnoxious,
germ-ridden parts of your body.
You can dance with someone of the same sex and not be
labeled as gay.
The thought of women masturbating turns guys on.
You can have guy friends and not worry about what people
think.
You don’t feel pressured to have sex with every guy on earth.
If you get into a fight your friends will help you.
You can achieve orgasm with thought alone.
Your friends are supportive when you’re single and depressed
about it.
Fifty dates equals fifty free dinners and/or movies.
You don’t have to build the courage to ask someone out, plan
the evening, pay for it, and call in a few days to hope that
person is interested in doing something with you a second
time.
You don’t have to play mind games with the person you go
out with in order to find out whether he likes you or not -
you're a woman, of course he likes you.
You never have to worry about meeting the parents - they will
love you no matter what, they're just glad their son's not
queer.
You rarely have to worry about saying just the right thing at
just the right time in order to prevent a fight you never knew
was coming – in short, you plan all the fights: what they are
about, when they will start, and when you will forgive him.
You don’t have to keep track of your boyfriend’s haircut.
You’re never expected or asked to move heavy or large
objects.
Guys don't care if you're coming out of a relationship - women
look at a guy on the rebound like cancer.
You’ll probably know well in advance if your boyfriend is ready
to dump you. (i.e. you aren’t dumped quickly and
unexpectedly, nor replaced in the same manner)
People don’t think you have an inflated ego if you drive an
expensive sports car.
You can look below a guy’s chin and not be perverted.
Every guy on the planet likes it when women check them out –
women act like guys checking them out are creeps. Even if they
wear v-neck Saran Wrap shirts. Hookers.
Speaking of which, you get to wear skimpy outfits and no one
thinks you’re a show-off. It’s just fashion.
You can call a guy a jerk anytime he does something you don’t
like.
You can make as many close friends with the opposite sex as
you want.
You can put up with small children, if fact, you enjoy them.
You also gain ‘coolness’ points for liking Star Wars, car engines
or sports, talking about sex openly (to a degree of course), for
asking a guy out
Guys are always willing to give a chick their coat in the cold.
It’s no problem finding someone to dance with you at a club.
You don’t have to wear a condom.
