Florida Beach:
White couples sunbathing on lounge chairs, kids playing with seashells and studying the sea with telescopes. College boys surfing, ladies in bikini playing volleyball, lovers strolling quietly.
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Eko beach:
Married women chasing their housemaids with slippers for not watching their straying kids.
Deeper life church members in ankara long skirts pretending to be having fun whilst judging nudity.
Can't successfully take a picture because 10,000 people are crisscrossing the cameraman and there's a young lout behind you trying to photo-bomb. Pickpockets on the loose. Condom sachets, pampers, amulets and viju milk bottles littering the shore.
Boys grabbing random babes under the guise of swim-coaching them, babes playing damsels in distress in the water before eye-catching boys.
Slay queens farting and urinating underwater, kids rolling tyres along the shore, lifeguards flogging fun seekers for performing water stunts.
White garment folks praying to Eledumare, Fan yoghurt vendors cycling and looking for buyers.
35 carnivals taking place at the same time. No road, no space, no air.