#1 Emotional affairs. If you’re in a happy marriage, your partner should be your true confidant. You should be happy to communicate
with them and share all the pleasant and the sordid details of your life with them.
Do you feel more
comfortable talking to
someone else outside the marriage about your secrets? It may start off as an emotional release, but it would eventually come in your way of marital bliss.
#2 The no-complaints
relationship. There are a few relationships where the partners have no complaints
about each other at all, because they completely understand each other and their individual points of view, and get along perfectly.
If you’re experiencing this grand state of telepathy in your marriage, that’s
awesome!
But if you’re in a marriage where you do find faults with your husband or wife,
and yet, choose not to talk about it with them because it’s just not worth the effort,
that’s just not good. When you lose hope of ever changing your partner or helping them see their flaws,
you’re in the no-complaints relationship. Over time, these little annoyances could lead
to huge frustrations in your marriage.
#3 You have needs. And these needs aren’t satisfied by your partner. Almost all the time, you find ways to satisfy these needs yourself, be it s*xual or emotional. But at the same time, you may constantly find yourself
grumbling or whining
within your own mind about how much better it could
have been if your partner was more involved in satisfying your needs.
#4 You have too many
needs. This is a
contradiction to the earlier sign of an unhappy marriage, but this is a valid
point too. Sometimes, two lovers just have different needs. And you may have needs that just can’t be
fulfilled by your partner. So what do you do then? Do
you compromise for the sake of your marriage or do you walk away? There’s a
thin line between
expectations and reality.
Communicate with your partner and talk to your friends. If your needs seem justified, you have a right to
expect it from your partner.
If your needs seem to be high-maintenance, you need to decide what holds more
value to you, your needs or your marriage.
#5 Individual lives. Both of you lead individual lives. In a
happy marriage or a long term relationship, it doesn’t
matter how distant both your career or life paths are, but both of you have to
understand each other and be willing to offer a shoulder to each other. Many people
don’t make the effort to understand more about their partner’s work life and their daily experiences.
Always remember this, if you can’t offer the emotional
support your partner wants, your partner may look to someone else to get that same support.
#6 Lusty minds. You could be in a relationship with one
person and still find yourself getting sexually attracted to
someone else now and then.
But do you talk about this little crush you have, or do you hide the secret, all the
while spinning secret
fantasies in your head?
If you have a crush on
someone else or consider some person to be physically
attractive, you shouldn’t have
difficulty talking about it with your partner if you’re in
a secure and happy
marriage. Hiding this secret interest, on the other hand, could leave you annoyed
because you’d feel guilty and at the same time, feel more distant from your spouse.
In a secure relationship, both partners talk about
their crushes and s*xual fantasies with someone else without really feeling awkward about it.
#7 Different life
directions. If you’re in an unhappy marriage, you’d see a lot of conflicting differences in both your perspectives towards life and your goals in life. This is something most college sweethearts that don’t communicate well end up facing as the years pass by.
When two people come together in a marriage, they
communicate with each other and their goals too start to align to form one
common goal.
#8 Your principles and your responsibilities. All of us have responsibilities when
we’re in a relationship. But do you take your
responsibilities too seriously and avoid looking beyond that? Do you believe that
earning money for the family or looking after the house is the end of your responsibility? In an unhappy marriage, both
partners rely too much on their responsibilities to
determine if they’re doing their *job* as a spouse.
