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Reasons why most marriages and relationships are failing

Reasons why most marriages and relationships are failing

By olumuyiwa in 4 Sep 2016 | 09:17
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There is the need to critically
review the basic reasons why
most relationships in the
society fail; marriages are
being broken day by day with
people moving on with their
lives and not being bothered.
The first thing to note here is
the mindset and calibre of the
people who get into this holy
matrimony. Most of them are
always in a hurry to say the
vows and move to the
matrimonial bed.
There is more to marriage than
the sharing of bed and material
things. Matters that would test
the faith and love of couples
would always arise with only the
brave surviving the storm.
This would then lead us to the
point where we get to ask why
people go into marriages in the
first place. Some people
venture into marriage because
they base their think it is the
right to do since the people
around think so. Who are they
to help you make such an
important decision when they
would not live in that union with
you?
Then what kind of attitude do
you have? This is a very
important thing to note as you
would be cohabiting with
someone who has a different
background. This means that
you are bound to see things you
do not like and you have to learn
to handle these things with
maturity.
All these form a minute part of
the reasons we would be
discussing here as we are tired
of seeing broken homes and
traumatised children. Find
below the core reasons why
many marriages in the society
fail:
1. No set boundaries
Couples do not know how to
manage their emotions and have
healthy relationships with
people outside their homes.
There are many people in the
society who make friends easily
without knowing how to place
these new friends.
They make them feel so
important that their partners
start to wonder the kind of
relationship that exist between
them.
As soon as you are married,
there should be a limit to the
things you do with your friends
or the kind of conversation you
have with them. They create a
feeling of insecurity in their
partners as a result of their
closeness with those people.
2. Selfishness
Many people do not see this as a
serious issue as they think
selfishness is a problem that
could be worked on. There is
the need to be considerate
when sharing duties and
responsibilities; people who
place their desires over that of
their partners have issues at
the long run.
The neglected partners could
feel used or taken advantage
of. This act often degenerates
to serious issues like
manipulation, jealousy, obsession
and a zeal for control.
Selfishness could also
transcend to disrespect.
3. Harsh words
It is normal for couples to have
fights and arguments but it is
not alright for couples to use
harsh words on each other no
matter how provoked they are.
Lots of marriages have failed
because many people could not
get over the hurtful things
their partners said to them
while they had issues.
These words can never be taken
back and it would be difficult to
pretend as if those things did
not happen. Explosive outbursts
would break your relationships
as unbridled and unchecked
temper could turn you to
enemies even after the
separation.
4. Lack of intimacy
Many marriages have failed and
broken as a result of lack of
emotional intimacy. Most people
lose touch with their partners
as soon as they start having
kids.
Women become old all of a
sudden and are unwilling to try
out new methods of lovemaking.
Men get tired of the incessant
complaints they give when it is
time to have a good time with
them. Emotional intimacy goes
beyond lovemaking as many
couples have lots of
expectations when it comes to
marriage.
People want comfort and
support in a union like that and
when they do not get it, they do
not feel the need to stay in
such relationships again.
5. Living separate lives
Many couples drift apart
because they live separate lives.
It is impertinent for a
relationship like that to fail
because couples do not make
out time for each other.
Couples should share activities
that would bring them together
always.
Couples who live separately and
do things independently tend to
lose the spark over time. They
stop connecting with their
partners and find solace in
other people. Marriages fail
because couples do not share
happy moments that involve
their children.
There is the need to consult
with each other about children’s
growth, welfare, and family
vacations. As busy as people
tend to get with kids, these
activities would keep them
together.
6. Lack of communication
Another major reason why
marriages fail is a lack of
communication. Individuals who
are uptight, rigid, judgmental
and easily swayed by anger
could shut down on their
partners when they have issues.
This is their supposed way of
preventing harsh words. A
successful relationship needs
constant ironing and mending; no
one is perfect.
Not talking about the problems
would cause bigger issues as
couples would become estranged
over time. At the long run, the
concerned partner may recoil
into a shell and give up on the
relationship.
7. Bad habits
There are certain habits and
addictions that could ruin your
marriage and change your lives
forever. Disloyalty, lies,
covetousness, dishonesty and
emotional imbalance are things
that would mess up a healthy
relationship as it would bring up
issues that would degenerate to
trust issues.
It is exhilarating for an
individual to complain about
issues like these with the other
person not changing or
bothered. Sooner or later, they
would break up and go their
separate ways.
4 Sep 2016 | 09:17
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Well said
4 Sep 2016 | 09:20
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okay.
4 Sep 2016 | 09:20
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Ok
4 Sep 2016 | 09:50
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