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OKRO SOUP (Weekend Special)

OKRO SOUP (Weekend Special)

By Saintkenz in 16 Jan 2016 | 04:35
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Saintkenz Saintkenz

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[b]OKRO SOUP -by Temiloluwa Kenny (saintkenz)

Ada gathered her nightgown about her. She felt her heart pounding inside her chest.
More banging at the door.
"UNA NO WAN OPEN D DOOR???" Came a harsh male voice from the other side of the door.
"Jesus!" She heard her husband exclaim from behind her. " D..do you think its armed r..robbers?"
"No Simon, its Jehovah's Witness pounding at our door at 3am in the morning."
"Are you mocking me?" He whispered back defensively.
"IF UNA NO OPEN DIS DOOR, D BEATIN WEY WE GO BEAT UNA EH???"
More banging.
"Ah don die oooh!!" Simon placed his hands on his head. Even in the dark, she could tell his legs were trembling. They usually did when he was scared s**tless. It sickened her.
Something heavy crashed into the door from the other side. The entire living room seemed to tremble.
"Chei! They will beat me oooh!!" Simon cried.
"So wait, na yaself you dey think about abi?" She snapped.
"Before nko? Studies have shown that armed robbers like to beat the males in the house...."
"And rape the females in the house" she said evenly.
" Mbok, rape and beating are not the same thing" he said shaking his head.
The front door suddenly crashed open.
Wooden splinters exploded into the room.
The couple covered their faces as the cold morning air brought in four dark figures.
The four men rushed into the house. Simon was savagely kicked in the ribs as he cowered by the side of the door.
"Please,... Please don't beat me"
WHACK!
The slap silenced him and instantly reduced him to a whimpering heap. Ada was roughly grabbed and dragged to the centre of the living room.
"SO, UNA NO GREE OPEN DOOR ABI?"
"No...no..it wasn't me," Simon was screaming.
"It was my wife oh, she refused to open the door"
Ada stared at his struggling form incredulously . She had half a mind to ask the permission of the Robbers to administer her own brand of " brushing" on her husband. She thought better of it when she saw one of the armed men grab Simon by the ankles and drag him towards her. She couldn't see much, but she could see enough to know that the men had guns and Matchetes. At least two of them were bare-chested. She tightened the fabric around her body. This was one occasion where a short, transparent and loose night-gown was a baaaad idea. She tried her possible best to cover herself. The last thing she desired was to give these men ideas.
WHACK!
Went a blow across her husband's face.
"WEY D MONEY???" One of them barked.
"Chei! Oga," Simon whimpered. " Money no dey oh....I'm a Civil servant, Government never pay us"
WHACK !
"Aaaah! Simon screamed in pain.
"WISSH KINE TALK B DAT?" A smaller one snapped. He roughly jabbed the nuzzle of a rifle into Simon's face. "BRING D MONI, OR I GO POROUS YOU HERE!!!"
"Oga as God is my witness,....Money no dey"
Simon squealed. Ada Rolled her eyes, Simon loved the "...as-God-is-my-witness" plea. It was his last resort in dire situations. The last time he'd used it was two days before when she'd denied him sex due to ill health. Simon ( being the inconsiderate horny goat that he was) went on his knees next to the bed and cried: " As God is my witness, I will never ask you for sex whenever you're ill again. But please, cure my Conji this night lest I suffer a stroke in my sleep biko". Eventually, she had given in. But now, hearing him again made her wish she'd taken her chances with him suffering a Conji-induced-stroke.
" I haven't been paid salary for December o!"
Simon was yelling." Dis Christmas na God hand we dey oh!!!"
WHACK!!!
"Wen I tell you suntin Emeka, you no go hear" said One armed robber to another. " I tell you say dis guy no dey like person wey get Moni, you no gree"
"Ubong, So na bad tin I do as I bring una com hustle for Christmas?" Emeka retorted. He pulled at an earlobe. " "You too dey find fault for anytin wey I do....take your time oh!....Now na "ember" month, I no want temptation"
"Na bad tin I talk?" Ubong replied defensively.
"Abi, make I no talk again?....if d tin be like dis, I go vex go house oh!
The robbers seemed to have forgotten about the cowering couple.
Ubong turned and made for the door.
"Bros, cool down nau" came the third robber.
"E never reach like dat. Emeka you sef why you talk to am like dat? Oya, tell am sorry"
Simon and Ada exchanged curious looks.
"Musa, I no go fit...."
"TELL AM SORRY BEFORE I POROUS YOU HERE!" Musa snapped.
Long pause.
Emeka reluctantly turned to Ubong and said; "Bros, no vex for d tin I talk"
Ubong shrugged and came back to the centre of the living room.
"Had it been we had held proper prayers before this operation, none of this would be happening" The fourth robber said. His other three colleagues shook their heads at this.
"Efe, I no ready for ya talk now abeg" Emeka said waving his matchet at him. "Abi you read Bible pass me?"
"You see?" Efe said extending his arms.
"Confusion....God is not the author of confusion.....had it been we had had a proper prayer session....."
"See person wey dey talk. You pay tithe reach me?" Ubong snapped. "You no how many deliverance I don go?"
"Oya, e don do!" Musa declared. " We go settle dis church matter for house. Make we finish dis operation"
Long silence.
The other three clearly didn't want to oppose him.
"All I'm saying is," Efe began softly. "....'..the steps of a righteous man are ordered by God'....if we seek his face...."
WHACK!!! Went Musa's hand across his face.
"Aah!" Efe screamed.
"If I hear ya mouth again eh?" Musa said waving his rifle at him. "No be all of us do 6 to 6 fasting for this operation?....You pray reach me?"
"Seriously??" Ada asked incredulously.
"SHARRAP!!!" All four robbers barked at her.
She returned to her cowering position.
"Oya, make una search the house" Musa ordered his colleagues. "D guy fit dey lie"
The three left to search the house, while Musa stood guard over the frightened couple.
"As you big like dis, you wan talk say you no get Moni, mtcheeew!!!" Musa spat in disgust.
An hour later, the three returned.
"Nottin dey dis house o!" Ubong sighed. "Food sef no dey, na only one small pot of okro soup wey dey kitchen"
Musa stared at the couple with glaring rage.
"Una mate dey kill goat, na small okro soup Una wan carry enter new year???"
"Better Isam sef no dey the soup" Emeka said in disgust.
"These people need prayers, its a spiritual problem" Efe shrugged.
"Please sir,...." Simon cried " It's all we have....."
WHACK!!!
Then all four men descended on the couple; punching, and kicking at them until they both passed out.
Hours later, Ada and her husband woke up.
Their house had been turned upside down, their bodies covered in bruises. But nothing in the house was missing......save for Ada's small pot of Okro soup and several cups of Garri that remain unaccounted for till this day.
A full scale police investigation and man-hunt is currently underway.

Happy weekend to you[/b] :)
16 Jan 2016 | 04:35
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16 Jan 2016 | 04:44
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lol 3 gbosa to u
16 Jan 2016 | 04:46
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[b]chei these kind robbers eeh[/b]
16 Jan 2016 | 04:50
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Lol! Are those guys real robbers? I guess not. They are just some bunch of hungry guys hustling for Xmas show off (like they rightly admitted). Simon is just a dick. He's not qualified to be called a husband cos the role of a protector to the wife is not being played at all. It's also glaring that the role of a provider is also neglected by him as a whole 3 hours if search produced only a pot of Okro soup (probably Adas). Did I hear you say a full scale police investigation and man hunt is underway when I already know the culprits to be Musa, Emeka, Efe & Ubong. Nice one @Saintkenz! Happy weekend to all Coolvallers
16 Jan 2016 | 04:53
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lol
16 Jan 2016 | 04:53
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Hehehe okra soup
16 Jan 2016 | 04:56
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oo nice story
16 Jan 2016 | 04:56
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Lolx...hapi weekend 2 u too
16 Jan 2016 | 04:58
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Lolx ... Happy weekend to you too bro @saintkenz
16 Jan 2016 | 05:26
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hahahahaha
16 Jan 2016 | 05:45
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Wondaful story.
16 Jan 2016 | 05:53
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Bt ciruzly dat Simon z a coward nd Ada on d oda hand shuld tnkGOD sey dm no rape her.
16 Jan 2016 | 05:54
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Hahahahdhah,lwkm o
16 Jan 2016 | 06:00
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Those robbers no be real armed robbers dem be
16 Jan 2016 | 06:08
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lol nice one @saintkenz really okro soup indeed
16 Jan 2016 | 06:09
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I can't stop laughter o... Better okro soup. @Saintkenz bro u 4 much o Hapi wikend 2 u n coolval22 family
16 Jan 2016 | 06:29
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[b]*laughing*[/b]
16 Jan 2016 | 06:37
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...
16 Jan 2016 | 06:38
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Lol passing
16 Jan 2016 | 06:39
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[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/lyhhYqN.jpg[/IMG]
16 Jan 2016 | 06:42
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hahaha... hungry thieves.... they just exposed themselves oh coz all their names were mentioned by themselves during their silly argument..... Simon is just a pot of okra soup.
16 Jan 2016 | 06:44
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Lmao really really funny...nice one brah
16 Jan 2016 | 07:04
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[b]U sure those people are robbers? Stealing okra soup with cups of garri.....lol[/b]
16 Jan 2016 | 07:23
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Lolz
16 Jan 2016 | 08:09
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Hahaha those hungry Robbers won't kill me oooooooo..........
16 Jan 2016 | 08:31
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Ada for follow whack Simon beta slap.
16 Jan 2016 | 08:46
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Hahahaha.i don laugh sote i com forget my nick name. Nice one bro...........
16 Jan 2016 | 08:57
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thanks thanks y'all :)
16 Jan 2016 | 09:03
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Lolz. Dx quys na hunqry theives... They no find wetin dem qo still na okro and cups of qarri
16 Jan 2016 | 09:27
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nice 1
16 Jan 2016 | 09:28
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hahahaha okro soup robbery
16 Jan 2016 | 12:04
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Lol! Simon is a big time coward!!! The part he said his wife did'nt wanna open the door 4 the robbers really got me laughing. Chei! That was so Funny! Nice one bro @Saintkenz. Happy weekend everyone.
16 Jan 2016 | 12:19
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lol
16 Jan 2016 | 12:56
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Full scale police investigation and manhunt ????? like seriously
16 Jan 2016 | 13:57
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Lollest...............diz na hungry armed robber ooooooooo.........okro soup ganni
16 Jan 2016 | 14:17
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hehe...like robbers like robbee(the person being robbed *winks*) all na hungry ppl...how ARMED robber go thief pot of soup and garri, and how can a married man have only a pot of soup and garri in his house within christmas period...see wetin hunger day cause . . nice one bro.
16 Jan 2016 | 14:52
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I cant finish laughing,see hungry guys turn robbers.
16 Jan 2016 | 15:01
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it is indeed okro soup..... Nice one
16 Jan 2016 | 15:24
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Chaii una do 6to6 cus of small pot of okro soup....husband dey beg ada make konji no kill am,efe is nting bt pastor-rubber
16 Jan 2016 | 15:30
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[color =maroon]:) Hahahah this ones nah area boys wey neva chop[/color]
16 Jan 2016 | 16:10
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so funny
16 Jan 2016 | 17:49
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Lols hungry robbers
16 Jan 2016 | 19:20
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so funny,nice1
16 Jan 2016 | 22:11
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Cool
16 Jan 2016 | 22:21
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lol
17 Jan 2016 | 01:54
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lolz..dat husband na wife e no b husband at all
17 Jan 2016 | 05:08
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Funny
17 Jan 2016 | 05:43
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W18 i no go hear sef? 6 to 6 fasting and prayer. Chai Lolz
17 Jan 2016 | 09:03
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Lol hungry man
17 Jan 2016 | 09:11
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hahaha thumbs up for u
17 Jan 2016 | 09:17
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lwkm oooo
17 Jan 2016 | 10:45
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hunger stricken thieves
17 Jan 2016 | 14:18
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saintkenz you are too good
18 Jan 2016 | 07:32
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see wat hungry can cause
18 Jan 2016 | 14:58
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Very funny... Just reading dis...
27 Mar 2016 | 19:13
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Thumb up
31 Mar 2016 | 14:15
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Na only god fit save us
31 Mar 2016 | 20:34
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Nice One
14 May 2016 | 03:33
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Okro.. Lol
21 Jul 2016 | 09:18
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Speechless
8 Aug 2016 | 11:18
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I really enjoyed this one
20 May 2017 | 10:37
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Okay
4 Sep 2020 | 06:57
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