“You can lock up the office when you leave,” said his boss.
“Yes, sir. Good night,” Chidi replied.
The stack of documents on his desk had not dwindled despite over four hours of relentless attack. His head was beginning to pound, and he really didn’t want to reach for the aspirin he always carried in his laptop bag just yet, seeing as his headache was stress related and caused by the man who’d just walked out, leaving him alone in the office.
The day had been going quite normally for him until around 3pm. He was looking forward to clocking out and heading to the Beer Barn for some Guinness with his friends and to watch the Champions’ League and cheer on his beloved (and utterly frustrating) Arsenal. All that had changed when his boss called his name.
“Chidi, the Finance people are asking for our budget so, take our project list to Dr Okoye’s office and give it to them,” his boss had said.
“No problem, sir,” he’d responded, grabbing the list.
“And don’t let them tamper with our projects.”
“I’ll let them know, sir.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Dr Okoye’s office was in full chaos mode. Staff were juggling different files, and someone had organized a bank of five laptops into which figures were being entered. Even with the pair of split unit air conditioners going full blast, the office felt hot. Chidi was surveying the scene and wondering how he was going to get anybody’s attention in that madhouse when an elbow crashed into his ribs, and he grunted.
“Sorry,” she said.
“Ah, kuku kill me o, Funke,” he laughed, massaging his side.
Funke was a tall, pretty accountant from Ondo state and she had a murder-suicide body going for her to boot. They had gotten friendly over the past few years he’d worked at the Commission but had kept his distance from her. The male Directors in this building were worse than ravenous direwolves and he had no desire to ‘drag any bone’with any of them, so he kept his shenanigans strictly outside the office. They gisted from time to time, but he had no desire to get himself posted to one of the outposts in Sokoto because he’d pissed on somebody’s tree. And, if the office grapevine was to be believed, Funke’s current paramour was none other than the Oga at the top himself, Professor Adebisi. Fuck being posted to Sokoto; he’d be lucky to still have a job if he dragged babe with that one.
“Oya, who am I submitting these to?” he asked, waving the sheets of paper at her. His side still hurt, even though he tried to play it off. The woman was strong too.
“What’s that?” she asked.
“It’s our project list.”
“Ah, sorry o. They have changed the system. You have to bring us the soft copy.”
“No problem, I’ll just go down and type it for you and save it on my flash drive.”
“Sorry, I wasn’t quite clear. You have to bring us the soft copy of your budget in this format,” she said and showed him the screen of a laptop with an Excel spreadsheet on it.
“What the hell is that?” he asked, bewildered.
“It’s our budget format,” she replied. “All projects have to be entered into the sheet in this format and only in this format.”
He stared at the sheet and the various headings with a frown. He was pretty good with Microsoft Office, but staring at that screen, he knew entering the data line by line would take days. He squared his shoulders and was about to ask her for a copy of the Excel file when something else she was saying caught his attention.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that. What were you saying?”
“I said that it has to be ready by tomorrow morning.”
“What?!” he almost roared. “How in nine hells do you expect me to accomplish that? I mean, look at this thing!” he cried, showing her the thick wad of papers in his hand. “Why didn’t you guys send someone to get this data last week?”
“Sorry now… these things happen,” she responded. “I was supposed to have come for it, but they’ve been sending me all over the place. Please, just take the soft copy down to your office, and I will come and put you through the entry process.”
And then, she smiled at him and his frustration melted away.
“You owe me for this, big time,” he growled, and grabbed the flash drive off her hand, brushing her fingers in the process.
He thought he felt her tremble at the contact, but dismissed it. He turned around and pushed his way out of the office and back down the stairs, cursing under his breath the whole way. His boss had told him to “take care of it” before leaving the office… and one by one, all his colleagues left for their various homes, leaving him alone in the office.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
And that’s where he was four and a half hours later, “taking care of it” until his eyes hurt. Funke had come down to put him through a couple of areas, but other than that, he had been making steady progress. He could tell she’d been impressed by how quickly he’d picked up on it, and he’d even started a separate sheet for a running total, to make sure the figures stayed right.
“Are you sure you’re just a lawyer and not some secret computer wizard/hacker?” she’d asked jokingly.
“I’m just interested in these things is all,” he’d laughed. “Besides, if I was a computer wizard/hacker, some government would have recruited me years ago and all I would do is stare at code all day… I would never know that goddesses like you existed in the world.”
Blame it on staring at numbers for the past few hours, but he was suddenly feeling reckless.
She laughed at that and stood to leave saying, “Well, this goddess will turn her fiery wrath on you if that budget isn’t ready by morning. And yes, I owe you one.”
As her heels clicked against the floor and her impressive backside swayed out of his office, Chidi realised he had a very uncomfortable erection straining at the seams of his trousers.
He looked down at his groin and whispered, “Down boy, think about the Sokoto liaison office.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
It was now edging past 9.30 and the budget was almost done. He felt quite proud of himself, knowing he was heading down the home stretch now. He had his earphones on and was singing along to Rae Sremmurd when someone plucked one earphone loose and he heard her say, “Is that so?”
“Is what so?” he asked, wondering how she got in without him noticing, and why she was still at the office.
“Bad bitches is the only thing that you like, eh?”
“Funke, every man likes bad bitches. Many of them just pretend to be interested in church girls.” He swivelled in his chair to stare up at her.
“Oh really?”
“Yes ma’am. But, women also like pretenders, so there’s that.”
“And what does your mother say about these bad bitches?”
“Well, like the song says, my mama doesn’t approve, but she doesn’t have much choice,” he said, and gave her a smile he knew to be the very definition of wicked, bordering on evil. From the way she froze, he knew she felt it.
She cleared her throat and nodded at the papers on his desk. “I can see you’re almost through.”
“Yes, just about. You did say something about the fiery wrath of a goddess or something, if my poor memory serves.”
“Well, it looks like you’re going to have the gratitude of a goddess instead,” she murmured and then she smiled that smile at him again.
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“Yeah, I also recall that the goddess said she would owe me one. Twice, in fact. Does that mean she owes me the same thing twice or she owes me two separate things?” he stroked his chin and stared deep into her eyes.
Something stirred between them, he was sure of it this time. He noticed again the oval of her face, her full, slightly parted lips, the length of her neck, the way her blouse seemed to strain against the pressure of her breasts, as though it was mere millimeters away from parting explosively. The flare of her hips, which the skirt she wore did absolutely nothing to disguise, and the swell of her bottom, noticeable even from the front. With a start, he realized she was staring right back at him with an intensity that alarmed him. She gave him a smile he was sure was evil and said something he would never forget.
“You’re in luck, Chidi. I’m the baddest bitch you will ever meet in your life.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Suddenly, she was in his arms, kissing him like she was trying to suck his soul out of his throat. Her mouth was warm and wet and she was undoing his tie, unbuttoning his shirt and ripping his belt buckle open almost at the same time. Her breasts were heavy against him and he reached up to cup them and she moaned into his mouth. He unbuttoned her blouse and unhooked her bra in swift order. She broke their kiss long enough for him to remove the restraints from her chest and then she was back on him. She unzipped his fly and reached in to heft his penis. She growled in his mouth at the weight of his penis and he felt her lips curl into a smile.
She leaned back and said, “You do have a very nice cock.”
His eyes widened and he whispered in bewilderment, “Ramsay Snow?”
She chuckled, nodded and slid down his body, pausing to pull his trousers and boxers all the way down to his ankles.
Then she looked up at him and said, “Unlike Ramsay, I am going to eat you.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
With that, she took the tip of his dick into her mouth, swirled her tongue around the cap and licked his pee hole hard, while sucking the tip of his dick. Chidi thought the top of his head had come off. He let out a sound that he wasn’t sure was human. Funke slowly swallowed more and more of his dick until she was right at the base. He felt her moan deep in her throat. When she withdrew, she left a long rope of saliva connecting her mouth to his dick.
Then she was on him again, sucking him harder than he had ever been sucked in his life. Chidi considered himself a connoisseur of blowjobs but this experience with Funke made him realize he was in the office of the Vice-Chancellor of Blow Job University… the CMD of Head Hospital… She was officially the President of Suckistan. She handled his dick with a level of skill he found difficult to understand. He felt his orgasm approaching him like a runaway train and shot out of his chair, gathered her hair into a single braid and fucked her mouth and throat with abandon. He froze as the power of his orgasm washed over him and felt his cum coming from somewhere beyond his comprehension. He shot spurt after spurt of cum into her mouth until he was spent.
She looked into his eyes, swirled the cum around in her mouth and then slid down his still turgid dick. His knees buckled, he let out a whimper grabbed hold of the table for support. She withdrew and let him see her swallow every drop. Then she went right back to sucking on him like he was made of some exotic flavor of Chuppa Chups. In no time, he was hard as a rock again, and he knew it was time to return the favor.
He pulled her off his dick, drew her to her feet and kissed her deeply, tasting the saltiness of himself in her mouth. He drew her closer and unzipped her skirt, sliding it down her waist till it fell to the floor. Her panties followed next and then he hoisted her up and placed her on the edge of his colleague’s table. He kissed his way down her neck, stopping at her breasts to suckle on her pointed and very hard nipples. As he ministered to one breast with his mouth, he twirled the other nipple between his fingers. She moaned and shook with need. He slowly moved down to her belly and then as she lay back, he placed his nose at her pussy and took a deep, shuddering breath. She smelled so good, he had to take a second breath.
He spread her pussy lips with his fingers and licked the middle, then slid his tongue down and, stiffening his tongue, plunged it into her over and over. She wailed and her thick thighs clamped against his head. He withdrew and grabbed his tie. Lifting her head, he stuffed the tie into her mouth and gave her a stern look. Her eyes danced with merriment and mischief. Without preamble, he took her clit into his mouth, sucking on the nub with vigour, while plunging two fingers into her soaking pussy. Her body was vibrating like a tuning fork and she grabbed his head, holding him in place. She was taking deep, harsh breaths, when he shocked her by plunging a finger in her ass. She stiffened and let out a muffled scream through the tie in her mouth as orgasm washed over her. He didn’t stop, he couldn’t stop, he kept punishing her clitoris with his mouth and she shook harder and harder and then she growled at him,
“You’re trying to kill me, ba? Ohhhh fuuuuuuck! Gimme that dick. Gimme! Gimme! G…” she stiffened again and this time, she squirted into his mouth.
He swallowed every drop and then rose to his feet. Pulling her to the edge of the table, he spread her legs and braced the backs of her knees against his shoulders. He rubbed his painfully hard dick against her pussy a few times, then dipped the head into her and pushed his entire length inside her in one swift thrust. She was wet, tight, and hot at the same time. He felt like he’d dipped his cock into a furnace. Funke’s mouth made an O shape, but no sound escaped. He paused inside her for a few seconds then began thrusting into her as hard as he could. She whipped her head back and forth on the table, took a ragged breath and wailed,
“Olorun ooooo!”
Her pussy walls clamped on his dick savagely and squeezed him hard.
“Oh no you don’t,” he growled at her, turning her over and pulling her off the table.
Now, with her glorious ass in front of him, he pulled out of her, squatted down and sucked her pussy hard from behind. She was moaning loudly now but they no longer cared. He rose and plunged into her wetness again, knowing that this time, he was going all the way. He pushed in and out of her at a speed he never knew he possessed, grabbing her hair and spanking her ass. It was firm and yet it jiggled deliciously at every stroke of his dick. They were both moaning now, and her voice had gone hoarse. He pumped hard and felt his orgasm approaching again.
“Fuck, I’m cumming!” he growled, and felt her clamp on his dick as he came, spurting his juice deep inside her and feeling her wetness flood his thighs.
With a final shudder, he collapsed against her back and he was pretty sure he blacked out for a few seconds. When he came to, they were both still bent over the table. His now limp penis was still inside her warm pussy. He slid out of her and staggered back into his chair. After a few minutes trying to catch his breath, he opened a drawer and took out a packet of wipes. He took a couple for himself and handed her the pack. He cleaned himself gingerly… his dick felt tender and sensitive at the same time. He felt her eyes on him and he looked up to see her smiling, already dressed.
“That was…intense,” she said.
“Yes, it was.”
“I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.”
“You have no idea.”
They paused and then burst into laughter. She walked up to him, bent over, and kissed him deep and long, and said,
“You’d better finalise that budget, or there’s plenty of wrath awaiting you.”
She stuffed her panties into his mouth, turned around and walked out. He heard her unlock the door and his eyes widened again in realisation. He began laughing around the panties in his mouth then spat them out and laughed until tears streamed from his eyes. He got dressed, and checked the scores. Arsenal had won 2-0. Not such a bad day after all… Bedsides, his headache was gone.
He saved the file, shut down the laptop and decided to head for Beer Barn. With all the fluids he’d just lost, he felt he deserved that Guinness now.
THE END!!!
