*I've never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much.*
*And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing or why men think with their head and women with their heart.*
*For example…One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.*
*Well, the passion started to heat up, but then she said "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."*
*I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"*
*So she said the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."*
*She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"*
*Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.*
*The very next day, I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, high-end department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.*
*Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a tsunami. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. But, I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."*
*She appeared to be almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear; let's go to the cashier."*
*I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."*
*Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"*
*I then said "Honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.*
*You're just not in touch with my financial means as a man, enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."*
*And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"*
*Apparently, I'm not having sex tonight either…*
