For the third time this week, they have not left a bar of soap for me to bath with in this
bathroom. Stingy people! Why is it that every time I bath, I always ensure that I leave a small
piece of my soap on the window so anyone that enters the bathroom can use it, but others refuse
to leave theirs for me? Anyway, let me just pour water on my body and ball out of this
compound. Today’s hustling must pay. Ikwa afang is waiting for me at Urua Ekpa junction with
the fake iphone 6. We would sell it to that Uniuyo babe and make N50,000 profit. After then I
would head to nairabet shop to see if my ticket has won anything. I am sure that I will win some
money that I will use for the weekend. When I leave the bet shop, I will check papa Eze Miracle
pools office, my cut 1 draws should fetch me some money.
Don’t look at me and shake your head sorrowfully, I don’t need your sympathy. My name is
Ubong Princewill alias Momentum. I am a young man, tall and very handsome, all the girls in this
street who have fallen prey to me can testify to my good looks. I am a graduate…let’s just say I
hold an OND in computer science from Uyo city polytechnic. I should have done my Hnd but I
don’t have anyone to sponsor me. And I also don’t have anyone to give me a job in the bank like
some of my colleagues, so I am left with no choice but to become a street boy, hustling day and
night to put food on the table. I am a bad fast guy, call me bad badoo baddest!
Let me check if my neighbour if he is around, he should have some Vaseline cream for me to rub
on my body, this weather is very cold and it has been raining since morning. Okon Etuk alias Body
language is my next door neighbour. He is also a hustler like me and we share almost everything
in common.
Oh, he isn’t in, I remember now, he went out with one small girl that he has been able to deceive.
Body language likes small small girls and I don’t know how he manages to convince them to
follow a poor fellow like him.
There is no dulling moment in this our Urua ekpa neighbourhood, everybody is a fast guy and fast
girl.
Let me call Body Language to find out where he is.
“Body language, how far? Wey you dey?”
“Momentum, I dey plaza, I get small runs here”
“Na that babe?”
“No, I don fashi that babe tey tey, she dey look for moni. Na moni matter carry me reash here”
“Okay naw, I dey show that side later, make I go runs that iphone 6 biz, the babe wan drop moni
today”
“No wahala bros, we go block later, make you remember buy chow come”
What kind of disappointment is this? Ikwa Afang has just called me to inform me that the uniuyo
babe says she is no longer interested in the phone runs. This is frustrating! I was sure of 25k that
I would have used for flexing for the next two weeks. Anyway, there is no dulling moment for me,
I am moving on to the next hustle. It is too early in the day to check the betting shop, so let me
do small pastor work.
I discovered late last month that pastors make a lot of money preaching in the motor park. It
was the day that I went to hustle small coins there that I saw a preacher happily counting his
stash of naira notes. I begged him to introduce me to the business and he let me onto the
secret. I have tried it once and I made N5000 that day. Let me enter Itam park…
********************
Itam motor park is a very busy place and is filled with hordes of travelers going to various
destinations. The pastor’s work business is simple: You register with a particular bus or transport
company with a particular amount of money, they would give you the license to preach and pray
for the passengers in their buses just before they embark on the journey. You make your money
from the passengers who would give you stipends to support the work of the gospel of Christ.
Let me rush so that I can meet up with my contacts in the park. I hope the spare shirt and
trouser is still in the office. I will change up in there and pick up the Bible and walk out appearing
like a pastor. Preaching isn’t that difficult.
********************
Heeey! Look at me all dressed up in a red long-sleeved shirt tucked into a black trouser with
black cover shoes, a big holy Bible is in my hands. There are too many pastors here and almost
all the buses have been booked by the licensed prastor. Let me join this Aktc bus going to Ikot
Ekpene, I will preach in there and then alight at the next junction.
**************
“Good morning my brothers and sisters in Christ, we have a reason to thank God for making us
see this new day, we have to pray and ask him to give us journey mercies” Some passengers are
looking at me, others are still minding their business.
“But before we pray, let us sing this chorus together;
”What shall we say unto the Lord?
All we have to say is thank you Lord!”
Some of the women are joining me in singing….
I am praying in tongues and have started preaching for ten minutes.
“Brethren please drop your widow mites to support the work of the lord, nothing is too small,
thank you…”
They are handing out the notes to me…10 naira here, 20 naira there, fifty naira from the back…
The highest denomination is N200.
“Thank you, may God bless and prosper the work of your hands” I say with a smile as I fold the
money into my right pocket.
The driver has branched into a filling station to buy fuel and I intend to drop here but as I turn
round, something catches my eyes.
There is a big orange coloured bag lying on the floor of the bus. It is bulgy and looks promising. I
quickly glance around the bus, nobody seems to have noticed it….maybe a passenger had
forgotten it. The bag looks very promising, maybe money is inside it…maybe a very valuable item
that can be sold for thousands of naira is inside. I should take it…there is no dulling moment for
a hustler like me.
I am not alighting from this vehicle anytime soon. I must take this bag with me, even if it means
going all the way to the park in Ikot Ekpene. I have more than enough transport fare to pay my
way back.
****************
Uyo to Ikot Ekpene is a 30 minutes drive. Most of the passengers have alighted at the different
junctions on the road. The bus is nearly empty, except for two men sitting at the back and a fat
woman in the middle row seat. The two men have thickset features with sunken eyes. They are
also looking at the bag…they have noticed it too.
I am uncomfortable, these guys share similar interest with me. I cannot allow them to get hold
of this bag. I am more than certain that it contains money. But how would I take the bag out of
this bus without them pursuing me and beating me up.
My suspicion has been confirmed! They have changed their seats and are sitting very close to
the bag!
“Anybody wey wan drop for this old park make he come down now. After here, if you wan drop
for new park na N70 you go pay o” the driver announces from his front seat.
“No wahala, na small moni, we big pass dat amount” one of the men replies.
I must act now!
“Driver, abeg stop, I am coming down here!” I say as I quickly grab the bag and throw it out of
the window, and then jump down from vehicle.
Instantly the two men jump down and run after me.
This is crazy! I grab the bag and I am running like my life depends on it.
There is a police car on the road side, thank God!
“Sir, officer, this is my bag, these criminals want to rob me, they want to steal my bag!”
The policeman takes the bag from my hand and gives me a puzzled look.
“What is inside here?”
“Err…my money and wallet” I quickly say.
The two men are standing in front of me and are breathing heavily.
“Officer na our bag be that”
“Wetin dey inside dis bag?” the policeman asks them.
”Na moni and small cloth”
The police officer opens the bag and brings out a parcel wrapped in a black nylon bag. He starts
unveiling the parcel and some green leaves fall out…He looks at three of us suspiciously…
“Na the leaf wey we take wrap the moni be that” the men quickly say.
I am beginning to get uneasy…
The policeman unwrap the leaves and his hands freezes as a human head rolls down and falls on
the ground right before our eyes.
“Fiam!” The two men take to their heels.
I quickly make a move to dash off but the officer recovers from the shock in time and pounces
on me just before I can move an inch…
The End
