1. After I stress myself to sweep my
room, clean everywhere, drank alomo
bitters and man power, then phone
rings..
Bae: Hunnie I'm sorry, I can't make it
today.
Me: You will never make it in life, Idiot!
2. We are slowly losing our culture o,
yoruba girls are now bathing twice a
week.
Lemme mind my business sef
3. Sometimes your boyfriend is
overprotective because he knows that
you are easy to catch, just malt and
peppersoup, your pant has shifted to one
side.
4. My neighbour has been looking for his
"NIKE" shoe, I don't know why my
heartbeat increases each time I see him,
I just don't know.
5. Me: Frank who is making noise
outside?
Frank: Its a naked woman riding a donkey
Me: oh! Let me go and see, its been long
since I saw a donkey.
6. These girls can make you feel so
special until you realize that she talks to
everyone like that.
7. Someone should please fall in love with
me, I will pay.
I've been single for too long.
8. I wonder whose armpit inspired the
creation of Roll-on.
9. There's nothing we won't see in traffic,
biko which one again be "Buy your sweet
recharge card to call your sweetheart?"
10. If you want us to date each other,
kindly come with a transfer letter or
redeployment letter from your ex, I'm
tired of lies and heartbreak.
11. Ear ring is for slim girls, the fat ones
should use padlock.
Shaa, its non of my business.
12. I unfriend you and you are still
sending me another friend request, so me
that unfriend you, I don't have sense abi?
13. Just when I thought I've seen it all,
BOOM! Naomi weds Demola.
# NaDem2019
14. Akara and moi moi get the same
parents, but na wetin dem pass through
make dem different.
15. Woman wey dey find pikin no dey
wear pant sleep.
16. Na happiness dey make dick stand oh!
17. Its not a magic but I know the person
reading this post right now, one of your
leg is on top the other.
18. So you saw a mad woman seated on
the ground with her legs widely opened
and you have an erection?
You can't make heaven sir
19. If she says "I'm sorry" even when she
knows she's right, my brother marry her,
ladies like that are just 20 in this world.
20. This life tire me!
I'm struggling to find a partner but
someone is in four stable relationship, is
that not wickedness?
21. Some slayqueens, immediately a rich
man ask them if they have a boyfriend,
they be like "Boyfriend ke? Boyfriend don
baff, I'm singularly single".
22. Stop boiling water for bathing in the
same pot you used for cooking and you
won't hear. Right now a certain man is
smelling like beans inside keke.
23. I just need a crazy girlfriend that
when I say "Baby I'm horny", she will be
like "Just drop your sperm inside that
bottle, when I'm back from work, I will
drink it".
24. You that is reading this post, why are
you not dating? Yes you! I'm asking you.
25. Just Imagine a day like "World no
make-up and no wig day"
You will realize that we are all men (Sons
of God).
26. A true friend is one who will join you
in a fight and later ask you what you were
fighting for.
27. This life ehhn
Ebuka at age 15, "I want to be a doctor"
At age 20, "Science is very difficult abeg"
At age 27, "Its your boy DJ Ebusky make
some noise".
28. Its not like I'm complaining oh, but
you see this adulthood ehhn, they didn't
explain it to us very well oh.
29. Your boyfriend be capon for school
cultist and you expect him to bow and
greet you?
My sister, you dey craze?
30. Is they any lady here that doesn't
have a black bra?
Hello!! I'm asking the ladies, please
Identify yourself so we can buy one for
you...
31. Witchcraft is when you are suspecting
that your boyfriend has a sidechick, den
BOOM! You are the sidechick.
32. I don't understand why ladies will
cross their legs when they sit, I mean,
what's the purpose of wearing expensive
pants?
33. Born again with their toasting skills
ehh, which one is "I was going through
the book of numbers and I realize I don't
have your number?"
34. Its only in Bayelsa that you will see
10 naked boys teaching one girls how to
swim.
35. "Cynthia sabi cook, Stella sabi arrange
room, Melody sabi greet, Mercy sabi
dance, Florence sabi sing" na so Solomon
take marry 700 wives ooh!
36. All this semi-fine girls are just so
fertile, just one kiss, BOOM! Dey don
born twins.
Ayam tired!
37. If you are not interested in the
relationship anymore just say it, which
one is "I need to find myself"
Did they kidnap you?
Mtcheeew
38. You are going to visit a guy and you
wore "Jumpsuit"? What happened to your
gowns and skirt?
Wicked girls.
39. Unemployed guys are the ones always
giving girls belle anyhow.
How can your sperm is working and you
are not working?
Let me drop my pen here!
