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My Sallah ram (A very short hilarious story)

My Sallah ram (A very short hilarious story)

By Eminem in 26 Nov 2015 | 12:59
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Eminem Eminem

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[b]You will find this short one-episode story funny after reading . . . [/b]
[b]A story by Foxyflow [/b]
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“Musa, me ne ne kana yi a cikin gidan rago?”
**Musa, what are you doing inside the ram’s shed?”
My father came to my room that early morning to
wake me up. I opened my eyes drowsily to see the
man standing close to my bed with a long dagger. I
had to jump up quickly thinking my dad had come
to castrate me. How he found out I just couldn’t
tell. I remember following my friend’s to “gidan
kara” (brothel) the previous night after it was
announced that the following day was the sallah
celebration. I was only a virgin.
I had gone in the company of Baffa and Idris who
had been telling me tales on how it feels to be on
top of a woman. Being a novice who wanted to
experiment with a new thing, I followed them. Then
we were staying in House 263, 13th Street, Shagari
Quarters, Kano. Kai, I followed those two boys on
foot. We trekked some considerable distance
because they had initially told me they don’t want
anybody seeing them boarding bikes.
“I don tire o, make we climb machine na”
I said from a corner of my mouth. The other part
of the mouth was busy sucking hard on a sugar
cane. They just looked me and smiled. We had
already gotten to zoo road. They then crossed to
the other side where a man was selling cigarettes.
I followed them since we were together. I had
never smoked before though I had been planning
secretly to do so.
“Malam, ba mu cigari”
**Malam, give us cigarettes”
Idris ordered confidently. I had to look at the same
boy twice who when at home use this kind of
female voice to answer and talk to people. Where
the machoness came out from surprised me. The
malam passed a pack of cigarette to Idris which he
opened hurriedly. He took a stick out, passed
another to Baffa and totally ignored me. He tapped
on the base of the cigarette, collected a lighter,
lighted it and dragged the smoke in. He released a
whitish cloud of smoke at my face moments later.
“Na which kind nonsense be this na?”
I had queried.
“You sabi smoke?”
He asked. If I should answer in the negative, it
would be a slap on my face. A man that wants to
get disvirgined should not be afraid of smoking, I
reasoned. Moreover, I had done it countless times
with wrapped papers torn from the pages of my
exercise book.
“You no go fit stand where I dey smoke na”
I replied him. He did not say anything, he knew I
was bragging but he still passed me the lighted one
he had begun smoking. I looked at the saliva at the
tip of the cigarette and rejected it. I wanted a new
one.
“Give me another stick na abi you no know say if
two men saliva mix e mean say them don kiss?”
I sounded intelligent to my own hearing. Idris just
shrugged and passed a stick to me. I in turn tapped
the base of the cigarette, collected a lighter and
lighted it. I dragged a lungful or more than a
lungful. Cough came out from no where. I started
coughing so hard tears were running out of my
eyes. Idris and Baffa too were laughing so hard
tears was coming out of their own eyes.
“Amma Musa nan, ba ka iya abu ba sai ka yi ko?”
**Musa, you don know how to do something but
want to do it”
Baffa commented still laughing. I had thrown the
cigarette away before it would kill me.
“Na yarda. In dai na wajen mata ne, nafi ku
wallahi”
**I agree, but if it is women, forget it”
I boasted. They only exchanged glances before
bursting into fresh laughter. I knew I was done for.
Idris had collected three tins of peak milk which he
proceeded to perforate. I watched standing while
Baffa helped him. I was passed a tin of milk.
“Dan me?”
**Why?**
I asked.
“In ka gama, ya kamata ka sha wannan dan ruwan
garto da ka zuba zai koma jikin ka”
“”When you are done, you need to drink it so that
the seed expelled would go back””
Baffa did the talking. Idris had already grown
impatient with me.
“Toh, na ji”
**Alright**
I collected the tin of milk and proceeded to suck it
dry.
“Ga kwayan nan”
**Take this tablets**
Idris passed some blue looking tablets to me.
“Wannan kuma me?”
**What’s this one?**
I asked.
“Ka cika tambayya wallahi.”
**You ask too many questions**
Idris the impatient one scolded me. Hey, the body
is my temple and I need to really know what a
thing is before filling my temple with it.
“Kawo to”
**Bring it then**
I said to him. I collected the tablets and kept on
staring at them waiting for them to pass water to
me. It wasn’t passed. I wondered why but did not
ask since I saw them throw a tablet each into their
mouths without drinking water. I proceeded to
follow them do so. The tablet was tasteless but I
still continued sucking and licking at it.
“Stop machine make we climb dey go sabon gari”
Idris spoke in English. I waved at a bike which we
bargained. He took the three of us on it and drove
through the streets of Kano down to sabon gari.
We were going to the legendary Sanyolu/Odutola
road. A brothel which had a great reputation was
located there.
“Nan zamu sauka”
**We’ll stop here**
Idris who was close to the bikeman said. He
stopped. Baffa came down, I practically flew down.
I was not seeing the ground. It took me ages to
get to the ground. My head felt light and the warld
looked more like a slow motion.
“A ina muke?”
**where are we?**
I asked. That was the last question I remembered
asking. Every other thing happened slowly. We
walked in, I was dragged into a room by a girl. Idris
had followed suit. He paid her, I did everything
without feeling nothing. I only knew I [b]urinated[/b]
inside her.
********************************************************
“Baci ne ya kama ni”
**I fell asleep**
I replied my dad. A slap from him made my eyes
as clear as spring water. There was I lying so
close to the sallah ram n’ak’ed and without
clothes. I did not know how I came to be their. I
only remembered everything after Idris came to
help us butcher the ram.
So much just to disvirgin myself…
[b]***THE END*** PLEASE COMMENT IF YOU LOVE THE STORY [/b]
26 Nov 2015 | 12:59
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[b]Abeg Coolvallers pls come read this short story [/b] [b]V.V.V.V.V.I.P’s List… @Coolval222-2 @Tenniebenson @Khola46 @Wiseman @Ibrams @Johnysky @Pizzaro @Swtharyomi @Wyse-one @Eddy @Delight @Pweety @Mray @Jummybabe @Babe4biola @Sofia @Ritagold @Kuks @Originalannchilexdel @Fridex @Frank @Frankkay @Simzy @Pheranmmie041 @Temmyjoy @Chriswayne @Evanz @Itzshaxee @Mecuze @Skookum @Kingson1 @Donmikie @Kingsbest @T-Dak @Charlywizzy @Charliebryn @Hardeywummy @Japhola @Konphido @Emmyrexx @Adura @Tholartee @Nextangel @Blessedgirl @Ebube @Jenifa @Jclash @Taiwo @Chomyline @Lawman @Tinagabe @Christiana @Itmrabzeez @Johnoscar @Precy @Timmy @Dabcy @Ikeholuwa1 @Besty @Starlet @Okklad @Angeleniola @Ewomazeal @Mizleemah @Blessfelicity222 @Anitcham @Stephanie @Lollybabe1 @Dahcutebae @Rhennyjay @Geeadore @Tiffany1 @Tonia @Hameyeenat @Inemlove @Promzy @Mohjisolah @Jencute @Jenny @Doublewealth @John451 @Kniphemi @Vibratingwind @Emmanesth @Horpheyehmy @Valking1 @Pweety @Kpumpy @Justify @Maurice @Jummy @Thankmic @Christopher @Anita @Phinebraim @Kedike @Kemkit @Gracy @Saintkenz @December @Promise @Sylvia @Bsam @Portable @Steph @Aarti @Olaking3 @Harddy @Blakstudd @Prince @Invincible @Mhzzrblayse @Azeeco @Temmymofrosh @Sandra @Sandy @Kaysmart22 @Cherryserah @Sexynikky1994 @Youngestprince @Davick @Semilore @Oyindamola @Dhemilade1 @Mature @Pearl @Roes @Franklin @Kolababs @Hollar @Smilie @Borwerleh @Iksqueency @Loveth @Funmilayo1 @Okklad @Nizzy @Flames @Vict-Vames @Peace @Sirp081 @Kristen @Kingsengine @Aaron @Tony @Ruth @Romancelord @Itzshaxee @Olamy4fun @Abrahamdking @Flamerouz @Crusher @Stanny39 @John @Softtouch @Onahsunday631 @Jeddy @Sonshine @Sirgentle @Vizkid @Hoelhay @Teesolid @Pharm-vickymears @Omoyemmy @Olarach @Daxking @Krizzy @Softie @Holarbordah @Ele @Firstladyontop @Obaby @Sergentmax @Mhizdaofot @Ariketemmy @Saraya @Eminem @Laurasteve299 @Gambola @Monadisu @Dazzlingangel @Donyas @C-Roderick @Cookey @Isabella1 @Chisomsophia @Mrfabulous @Henry @Mhizzthessy @Millz @Bishops10 @Kreepyink @Olaniyiadeshina @Gracedkyenny @Hardeyhorlar9 @Holaryinkhar @Inemeka @Abevica @Olami @Beryl @Humblelion @Natasha9976 @Hartuny @Emergencia @Paula4eva @GiftGodiva @Divatimmy @Finestberyl @Sapiens @Ahmad @Ele1 @Ferdinard @Abednego-precious-7 @Festoza006 @Sharpzender @Uncleba426 @Paje @Jenny123 @Pemamezi @Detector @Pweetyfizzy @Everybody come ooo [/b]
26 Nov 2015 | 13:03
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Hahaha Serves u riqht mister... Nice one @Eminem I enjoyed the story. :-)
26 Nov 2015 | 13:11
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[b]@Pizzaro Always the first to comment [/b]
26 Nov 2015 | 13:13
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Cnt stop laughing
26 Nov 2015 | 13:21
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Lol.. Abi na cocain d boi lick ni?
26 Nov 2015 | 13:37
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Lolx abi u wan disvirgin
26 Nov 2015 | 13:52
0 Likes
Lol
26 Nov 2015 | 13:55
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Lolz... Nice1 @Eminem
26 Nov 2015 | 14:08
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God go deliver u
26 Nov 2015 | 14:15
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soo funny.....i don learn Hausa.. to nah ji
26 Nov 2015 | 14:23
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Nice one
26 Nov 2015 | 14:31
0 Likes
Lolz....lwkmd....nyc story u got here
26 Nov 2015 | 14:32
0 Likes
Lolz
26 Nov 2015 | 14:35
0 Likes
Lol...
26 Nov 2015 | 14:52
0 Likes
Lol.. funny
26 Nov 2015 | 15:03
0 Likes
Thanks@eminem
26 Nov 2015 | 15:03
0 Likes
Hmmmm
26 Nov 2015 | 15:17
0 Likes
Nice story i enjoyed it
26 Nov 2015 | 15:18
0 Likes
,idey
26 Nov 2015 | 15:24
0 Likes
Hahaha.... Can't laugh oo. Just to be disvirgin, it's terrible
26 Nov 2015 | 15:30
0 Likes
lolz
26 Nov 2015 | 15:34
0 Likes
[b]D guy suppose go meet @NextAngel for advice [/b]
26 Nov 2015 | 15:54
0 Likes
Cnt stop laughing
26 Nov 2015 | 16:05
0 Likes
Cnt stop laughing
26 Nov 2015 | 17:19
0 Likes
Hahaha dah slap no b 4 here oo, nice story
26 Nov 2015 | 18:02
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Nice one @eminem
26 Nov 2015 | 19:45
0 Likes
Funny
27 Nov 2015 | 03:06
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Lol.... No be small disvirginaliation. Be this ooo...... Nice job @eminem
27 Nov 2015 | 06:11
0 Likes
lolz
27 Nov 2015 | 08:43
0 Likes
shebi u won disvirgin ni
27 Nov 2015 | 16:27
0 Likes
Lolz
6 Dec 2015 | 15:29
0 Likes
dis 1 gagaga ooo.... Cant stop laughing
22 May 2016 | 02:35
0 Likes
thank God say na only urinate u do.e for no funny assuming u poo poo inside
22 May 2016 | 11:55
0 Likes
Hmmmm wat did u expect in sabon gari
13 May 2020 | 12:16
0 Likes
Photo copy is not easy....
14 May 2020 | 05:22
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