No one can identify with me
when it comes to love, do you
know why? No one has felt it
like I have. Maybe God did. To
me it is so many things and not
anything. It has shaped me with its spears and daggers
and has punctured me as well
with its arrows. Now I have got
so much stronger because
those platelets it often left for
keepsake have made for me a formidable fortress
impenetrable by the fangs of
heart break. I sat up all-night wondering and
pondering and brain storming
storms of ideas as they flow in
and out of my head, “of all the
names that would have been
given to it, of course I know that man creates all these
words we see, but why the
word ‘crush’?” I kept gnawing
at it but the idea kept fading in
and out like it was Nigerian
power supply. It greatly baffles me to see so many rot in the
system. No one enjoys
anything but gets everything
down here in my country. We
don’t pay for the necessities of
life like Hunger, poverty, corruption, starvation they
come as promos and with side
attractions and mouth watery
benefits too, like cholera,
diarrhea, kwashiorkor, and so
on. I laughed my ribs out when a friend of mine cracked me a
joke. There is love in sharing
so I would share it anyways.
don’t crucify me yet. I think it
was something of this nature
that is if my memory still serves me correctly. A man entered UK illegally and
was caught at the airport by
immigration officers but he
slipped away, no one knows
why. He hid himself
meticulously amidst the crowds and in a matter of seconds
became invisible, he did not
use any diabolical powers here
but diabolical wit. The security
officers asked that the light of
the port be switched off and put on back and just like a
smoked rabbit out of a hole the
mumu guy shouted “Up Nepa”
before he could recover it was
too late. His hide and seek
came finally came to an inertia. Just like the word “crush”
played hide and seek with my
mind, becoming vague at a
time and at another, opaque.
The word indeed stands at par
with the referent and for me I would say it is more
onomatopoeic since it
suggests the sound in itself. Crush crushed me in a gush of
rushing moment. I saw this girl
and just at a single glance like
a prey I was drawn into her
web. I felt uneasy and my
hands shook at the same rate as my heart. I tried so hard to
calm the troubled mind but my
plans fell through. Still
awestruck at this new
realization I found a place I
could to grasp enough air before I die of suffocation. On
getting home I slumped into the
cushion chair and chaired my
mind back to the happenings of
that day. I reached for several
explanations to justify what had happened earlier because
it can definitely not be love,
who believes in that anyways.
Was I hungry? I felt my neck
to traditionally verify if I had
malaria but nothing of that nature. I was perfectly fine. I
went to bed sad because the
reverie remains a mystery.
There she was again this time
in my dreams looking radiant in
her beautiful white gown shaped to meet the standards
of her curves and angles. This
time I wasn’t only shaking but
drooling like a dog, a dog? This
nauseated me and I shouted
out of my dreams into my mum’s face, “a dog” My mother
was so shocked that she flung
my head back and forth in
Jesus’ name rebuking the dog
that had pursued me in my
dreams. You can’t imagine how she forcefully swung it in
diverse direction more like a
pendulum. Since the dog she
heard did not bite me in the
dream she took it upon herself
to make sure that I lost my neck, mother’s love. I don die! There she was again
but this time not in white but
pink. Again it started again, the
shaking. “Not this time” I called
out to put it in check. I ran as
fast as my legs could take me out of her sight. It is becoming
more scarier than I had thought
it would. When I go to the
cafeteria it her I see, when I go
to class it is her in every
corner. What have I done to deserve all these now. I was
only a church goer initially but
turned a mass server just to
get closer to God to rid me of
this sickness this lady had
infected me with. I avoided her so much that she began to
notice me and this got me more
scared. I confided in my friend,
Fasasi, about the sickness that
has befallen me. He looked at
me and laughed I was aggravated that I almost
wanted to remove his shinny
set of teeth with my small fist.
That was impossible anyways
mere infatuation. Fasasi was
two of my size and hitting him is synonymous to writing a
death will. How I became
friends with him is what I am
yet to find out. I made a grin
face at him after he had had
his gigantic laugh. He looked at me again and laughed this time
mockingly. My eyes were
already ready to send down
rain drops from the sky when
he dropped the tsunami, “you
are in love, fool” I broke down into tears and he looked at me
with dire consternation. How
can I of all people be said to
have fallen in love. Never I
braced myself and walked out
of his presence and told myself there and on that it is not love
and I will confront her to prove
it.
Story continues. Who wants to
see it end.
