[img]https://i2.wp.com/thenakedconvos.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/more-love-letters-1024x686.jpg?resize=845%2C312[/img]
While sorting through some old keepsakes, you found an envelope with your name on it that hasn’t been opened. You recognize the handwriting. It belonged to you; you frown, as you cannot remember writing it. The letter was addressed to you and there were smudges on the envelope that looked liked someone wiped away water, tears you thought. You resist the urge to tear it open, as you proceed to open the envelope gently. Why can’t I remember? You thought. The date on the envelope read June 2010, that was the point in your life where everything came crashing down. Karma had dealt you a huge blow. You were addicted to drugs and had just found out that you were pregnant. You couldn’t go back home because your family would have been disappointed as usual and you would have been that failure your mother always said you would be, if she could see you now. You smile as you brought out the paper from the envelope and sat on the wicker seat by the window overlooking the water and began to read.
Dear Me,
I am writing this to you because I know you think everything has gone to shit. Do not worry, life is totally unpredictable and I know you are strong. I know you think you can’t continue but you have it in you, do not give up, and do not stop moving because that is when things will really go to shit. Like Roy said, “your hardest times often lead to the greatest moments of your life, keep going…tough situations build strong people in the end”. Do not listen to anyone who has no words of encouragement to give, they are there to watch you fail. Remember, the one who falls and gets up is stronger than the one who never tried, do not fear failure but rather fear not trying.
Having a baby at 18 is not the worst thing that can happen to anyone, you made a mistake, but that does not define you. Mistakes are often great teachers; they allow us to see a light that we probably won’t have seen, sooner rather than later. So, man-up, you are smart and I believe you will learn from this. Years from now when life is much better and you probably have big decisions to make, and you find this letter, it will guide you and remind you that; you are your own light. You may be the only person left who believes in you, but it’s enough. It takes just one star to pierce a universe of darkness. Never give up.”
Go out there and be happy, you survived mistake lots of people might not have, all by yourself, and you made it. So what are you afraid of? What could be worse than getting pregnant at 18? Having no family or friends to turn to? Running away to a strange city to have a baby when you are only a child yourself? Do not allow yourself to wallow in doubt or self-pity, you are more than that. Remember, you love yourself too much to allow anyone to love you shabbily; life is too fleeting to be unhappy or settle for less.
Always, always stay strong and positive and know that the some of the most beautiful things we have in life comes from our mistakes.
Regards,
Your inner wise self.
You feel the tears drop from your eyes as you fold the letter and put it back into the envelope and stare out the window. Truly, the best thing in your life had come from a mistake. Your daughter was 12 now and she is the best thing in your life. Apart from being a successful entrepreneur who ran one of the biggest fashion houses in the city, everyone seemed to love you but very few people know your story.
Now you are caught in between marrying a man who you think loves you, and following him to a new city and remaining in a place where you have set-up and built a life for yourself and your daughter and you cannot seem to figure out what to do. This letter came a point in your life where you needed an answer. It seemed like your young self-knew that one day you would face this dilemma. Do you let this love go and risk staying alone for the rest of your life? Or do you dive in and let the rest play itself out?
“We have to go mother”, your daughter says as she breezes into the room snapping you out of your thoughts.
It had always been like that since she was little. She never walked anywhere; she ran or may be floated. You do not know how she does it, she was so graceful and smart and you could see a lot of yourself in her and a part of you is often so scared she might make the mistakes you made. So you try, maybe a little harder than necessary to make sure that as much as you are her mother, you are her friend. You believed that was the best way to raise her right and be everything your mother was not.
You rise from the seat and followed her to go get dressed. She is an athlete, one of the best track runners her school had and she was the overall best in the state amongst her peers. You could not have been more proud of her. This was one of the reasons you didn’t want to uproot her from a place she felt settled and safe to a place where she would become the new kid on the block.
As you grab your car keys and proceed to drive her to practice, you make a decision. You would talk to the husband to be and try to reason with him. He had a good job here and moving to another city might not be ideal for you and your daughter. You hope that this goes well as your daughter had to come to like him and they were good friends.
“Put on your seat belt Sweetie”, you say to her as you turn on the ignition and drive into the street.
You smile as she tried to convince you that it would be easier for her to jump out of the car with her seat belts off instead of on…in case you drive into a tree or an upcoming truck and you smile as you worry that she might have a twisted and a really creative imagination.
