Article written by a LindaIkeji’sBlog
reader who had a personal encounter
with a mad woman. Read below. This happened a few years ago and I
thought I should share. Before this I
had often wondered who impregnates
mad women. Who are the men doing
so? Who in their right mind sleeps with
them? This encounter answered my question. Please read on. After four days at the hospital where I
had an Appendicitis operation, the
doctors cleared me to go home. My
mum wanted to go to the bus stop and
get a taxi but I declined. After four
days coupled up in the hospital bed I needed some fresh air and a bit of
exercise. We got to the bus stop and joined the
rest of the passengers waiting for
vehicles. A mad woman appeared. I
have seen her a couple of times at the
bus stop with other mad folks begging
for money. She was tall and lean with a black torn short covering her
womanhood and a yellow faded ankara
thrown over her shoulder leaving her
stomach and thighs bare. She moved
from one passenger to the next
begging for money. Finally, she stood before us,gave us a bewitching smile. “Fine Mama and fine aunty, help me
with some change” she said in Igbo. I drew back to ward off the smell
emanating from her unwashed body.
My mother quickly opened her bag
while holding her breath and brought
out a 100 Naira note which she
dropped on the mad woman’s outstretched palm. She beamed her
thanks and was about to go when a
dread locked mad man on brown
underwear walked up to her. She
giggled like a school girl when she saw
him. I glanced at my mother. She was watching them too. They struck a
conversation in Igbo. Mad man: Nne, kekwanu? How re u? Mad woman: (giggles) I am fine.
(Another giggle) Mad man: Did I offend u? Mad woman: Ah! Noooo! Mad man: if I didn’t offend you then
why didn’t you visit me like u said? Mad woman: Okkkkkkk! (She
scratched her hair then her buttocks) Mad man: Is it that I didn’t do it well
the other time? Was it painful? By then, my jaw dropped. Mama’s jaw
dropped even further. Mad woman: (giggles) no, you did it
well Mad man: Then why didn’t u come? Is
not good oo Mad woman: I will come today. Yes,
today. I ll come. Today The mad man grinned at her: Ok. He turned and swaggered off, his
member nodding between his legs.
The mad woman ran towards a yellow
bus discharging some passengers and
began another round of begging. My mother whispered. “Nne, please
tell me that what I just saw and heard
is all a dream” I cleared my throat, plied open my
numb lips and replied, “No, Mama, it isn’t a dream but I wish
it is” We still joke and laugh about it today
