MERCENARY GIRLFRIEND
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.
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Okay, his clothes were nothing to go on; he wore a black T-shirt and a pair of blue jeans. There were no labels in sight and he was wearing sandals.
Hmmm.
No wrist-watch, no bracelet or necklace.
I mean, who does that?
Aside from us meeting up at a fairly classy bar, there was nothing to tell me if my blind date were a rich guy or a brokeass.
I know what you're thinking; I'm materialistic and vain. But news flash guys! ALL WOMEN ARE.
It's in our genes to want comfort.
But I digress.
I was talking about my date with Ugo. We'd met online. Facebook. His profile pic was hot. But I couldn't tell alot from the white background. He was fine. So after accepting his Friend request, I scooted off to his pictures. They all looked the same i.e taken in Nigeria. I found that a little disappointing. Either he didn't like posting his "Jand" pics, or he'd never been overseas before. I was a little discouraged by this. His pic were very nice. But the absence of Janded pics could mean another brokeass.
I was about to give up on him when my eyes strayed to his Profile page. OCCUPATION, Oil and Gas Consultant.
This gave me some hope.
But hope most times is like MMM; you have no idea what's going to happen.
So I decided to give him a shot.
We exchanged messages then phone numbers.
Then we set up the date.
I wont lie, the bar wouldn't have been my first choice for a first date. For the simple reason that it was a cheap place.
Look, I'm not a gold digger, but when a guy asks me to meet him in a place where beer is less than a thousand naira, I worry.
Maybe he's one of those big boys who likes hanging out at cheap places. Well, I'll change all that once we start dating. No boyfriend of mine was going to be called a cheap-skate.
But sitting across from him and staring at his clothes, I was unsure. I like my man to stand out: Versace, Calvin Klein etc. But maybe he just needs a little fashion advice.
"So...,"I decided to break the silence. "Do I look like my Profile pic?"
He studied my form for a beat. His eyes sucking in every curve. I knew I didn't look 33, but I just love it when men try to guess.
He was doing his damnest not to stare at my bustline.
That bothered me too.
Most rich guys have tons of girls. If he was having difficulty staring at my boobs, it meant he was shy. If he was shy, it meant he didn't have alot of experience with women.
You know who else doesn't have alot of experience with women?
You guessed it. BROKEMEN!
I was seriously beginning to worry.
"You look even more beautiful," he said.
I let a smile play across my lips. Confidence was a good sign. Most financially stable guys had it.
"Thank you."
The evening wore on. It was difficult getting him to talk about his job.
"Let's not talk about work," he said sipping from his glass. And why was he drinking small stout? "how long was your last relationship?"
I tried to not stare agape. Was this guy for real? Were we going to sit down and talk about irrelevancies like where I went to school, how I lost my virginity and our dreams and aspirations?
Was this guy for real?
I held myself from walking out on him. That's me. I believe that knowing a potential partners finances are crucial. I mean, why shouldn't I ask him?
I took in a deep breath and said, "Do you drive a honda?"
I could see the hesitation in his eyes. Did he consider this irrelevant too?
For me it's important to know the sort of car his driving. I do this because The sort of car a guy drives determines his social standing; a cheap car without Air conditioning is a bad sign. What would people say if they saw me in that? An expensive car without Air conditioning is hopeful.
He was being dodgy about his finances. This was our first date for christ-sakes! I had a right to know.
I decided to be sneaky. "I'm thinking of buying a range-rover...what do you think?"
He nearly choked on his drink. "...range-rover ke?...That's an expensive car to maintain."
"You know this for a fact?"
He seemed thoughtful. "...I just think a cars are liabilities."
"hmmm, so...what do you drive?"
He met my gaze for the first time. "Why's that important?"
"Does it bother you to tell me?"
"No...I just wonder if you're the sort of woman who measures a man by the car he drives."
It was my turn to choke. "Don't be absurd. I'm just making conversation."
He was thoughtful again. Why did he always do that? Then he leaned back into his chair as if he'd made up his mind about something.
"I drive a honda...2005."
The glass almost slipped from my hand. "...d-did you say...20--?"
"2005...it's grey...though the Air Conditioning is bad."
God of Isreal! I was sitting with a broke ass.
But there had to be more to the story.
"So...when you say...oil and gas...?"
He sighed and looked away. "I sell gas cylinders and groundnut oil."
I froze.
"...I really don't like talking about what I do..."
I still couldn't get past "... cylinders and palm oil.." What the hell did I walk into?
"...my last relationship ended because of that..."he was saying.
Before nko? Which girl wants to suffer? In this recession?? Was he retarded?
"I don't think we're compatible." I said.
He continued staring at me. There was a strange calmness in his eyes that made me uncomfortable.
"Have I said something wrong?"
I was desperately trying not to be rude. But the fact is, I have standards. There are some men I wont date. Period!
"Listen," I said in a relaxed voice. "I'm sure you're a very nice guy and all, but I just don't think I'm the girl for you."
"What makes you say that?"
Maybe he was retarded. "Okay...how do I put this...? I have pretty high tastes...so I need a guy who gets that."
He smiled for the first time. Okay, he had a really nice smile. I started to wonder...NO! A fine guy without money is just a boy. I should remain focused.
"Is this because of where I work?"
I sighed, "My dear, it's just easier to be with someone who's rich."
"Some people would call that materialistic."
I scoffed, "Who dem hepp? Only a poor man would say that."
"So...you don't think we should get to know each---."
"Listen to me!" I was on my feet. "I don't wear cheap hair or cheap clothes. See this bracelet? It costs more than the jeans you're wearing."
He seemed a little embarrassed."There's no need to make a scene---."
I stormed out of there faster than you could say Bad date.
I heard him call out to me but I was too pissed off to turn around.
What a waste of my time!
Finding love has always been hard for me.
People say I'm materialistic but who no like better tin? Times are hard. A bag of rice is #27K. This is not the time to "struggle" with a man. If you're not Ready-Made, don't bother.
He called me a few times after that. I didn't answer. There was no point.
About a month later, I saw him on TV. Dude was opening another branch of his Gas Company in Canada. I later learned that his Gas Company is the largest in Africa.
My heart was pounding.
I quickly googled his name and found out he was actually worth over Five Million dollars. But he's generally a very unnassuming fellow.
WHAT??
FIVE MILLION?
This was the sort of man I was looking for; handsome, hardworking and LOADED!
It's been three weeks, and he still isn't picking my calls. But I'm believing God that he will answer my calls and give me another chance.
Everyone's entitled to a second chance...right?
THE END
