Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma
a question if they aren't prepared for the
answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town
prosecuting attorney called his first witness,
a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the
stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs.
Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why,
yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known
you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've
been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you
cheat on your wife, and you manipulate
people and talk about them behind their
backs. You think you're a big shot when you
haven't the brains to realize you'll never
amount to anything more than a two-bit
paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what
else to do, he pointed across the room and
asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense
attorney?'
She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known
Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he
has a drinking problem. He can't build a
normal relationship with anyone, and his law
practice is one of the worst in the entire
state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife
with three different women. One of them was
your wife. Yes, I know him.'
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach
the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows
me, I'll send you both to the electric
chair.......
