Little Johnny was 7 years old, and like other
boys his age, very curious. He had been
hearing quite a bit about toasting from
other boys and he wondered what it was
and how it was done.
One day he took his questions to his
mother, and she became surprised. Instead
of explaining things to Johnny, she told him
to hide behind the curtains one night and
watch his older sister and her boyfriend.
This he did, and the following morning,
Johnny described everything to his mother.
“Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for
awhile, then he turned off most of the lights.
Then he started to kiss and hug her, I
figured sis must be getting sick because her
face started looking funny. He must have
thought so too because he put his hand
inside her blouse to feel her heart, just like
the doctor would. Except he’s not as good
as the doctor, because he seemed to have
trouble finding her heart.
He was getting sick too, because pretty soon
both of them started panting and getting all
out of breath. His other hand must have
been getting cold because he put it under
her skirt. About this time, sis got toward the
end of the couch. This was when the fever
started. I know it was a fever because sis
told him she was really hot.
Finally, I found out what was making them
so sick… a big snake had gotten inside his
pants somehow. It just jumped out of his
pants and stood there about 9 inches long.
Honest! Anyway, he grabbed it in one hand
to keep it from getting away. When sis saw
it she got really scared. Her eyes big and her
mouth fell open, and she started calling out
to Dad and stuff like that. I should tell her
about the ones I saw at the river!
Anyway, sis got brave and tried to kill the
snake by biting its head off. All of a sudden,
she made a noise and let the snake go. I
guess it bit her back. Then she grabbed it
with both hands and held it tight while he
took a nylon cover out of his pocket and
slipped it over the snake’s head to keep it
from biting again. Sis lay back and spread
her legs so she could get a scissor lock on it,
and he helped by laying on the top of the
snake. The snake put up a hell of a fight. Sis
started groaning and squealing and her
boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess
they wanted to kill the snake by squishing it
between them.
After a while, they both quit moving and
gave a great sigh. Her boyfriend sat up and
sure enough they had killed the snake. I
knew it was dead because it just hung there
limp and some of its insides were hanging
out. Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired
from the battle, but they went on toasting
anyway. He started hugging and kissing her
again, and lo and behold, the snake wasn’t
dead after all. It jumped straight up and
started to fight again. I guess snakes are like
cats… they have nine lives or something.
This time sis jumped up and tried to kill the
snake by sitting on it. After about 35
minutes of struggle, they finally killed the
snake. I know it was dead this time because
I saw sis’ boyfriend peel off the skin and
flush it down the toilet.”
Mother fainted!!!
