LEKKI STEWARD

seated

It seems like i have read dis story b4

Bring it on!!!

Next episode coming soon

Next episode coming soon

EPISODE 2 Esther was a final year student of Convenant University, studying Business Administration, or so I heard when I eavesdropped on my uncle. She was tall, fair in complexion, some desirable lips and a madt dimple contrasted with an tooth gap, when she smiles, you will think she is the most caring human on earth.. ( Guys, Don’t be deceived by smiles ohhhh abeg!!!! ). Couldn’t determine the size of her bosoms because she can sabi package, but she had an Bottom I once thought of while self- servicing. Trouble!!!!!!!!! She comes to lagos straight from school before going to Abuja where their(My Inlaw n her sibblings) parents are based, but this december, she wanted to stay in Lagos for reasons I didn’t care to know because she was just a spoilt brat!. Sometimes I looked at her and pitied the husband that was gonna marry her. But anyhow, “I must use Asamoah’s style to blackmail this beensh”. That was what I thought in less than 3seconds. “Danladi what is this?” She asked looking at my Lagbaja, still in its mask with a face like ” ” .. Damn! That was too direct. I said in my wandering mind, before I could explain myself, she shunned me, smiled and said: “Where is my breakfast? I need to eat before I take this anti-malaria”.. Like seriously? , Esther smiled at me? Those dimples just went in, giving way for the gap tooth to shine at me? Because of why nah? Why? Malaria? Food? See this liar ohhhh! She nor know say I be walking Lying detecting machine. All these were on my mind, “I refused to be bribed like this”, I said to myself. So I told her where the food was, still trying to cover my hellrection. She said “Naurrie Boy”, turned around and left, with another smile!!. Blood Of Goat!!!!!, another smile? I frowned my face like shittt and popped the million dolar question “ESTHER, WHERE IS BROS ABU?” With some balloteli’s 2012Euro Cup Stand.. She paused, puzzled and shocked.. Looked at me with one hell of “WTF” on her face. At this moment, I was feeling like the Puppet Master(Can’t remember where I knew that f.a.g sha). I had Esther right at my palms, I finally had her like Asamoah had his Dad’s drivers. I was so elated that lagbaja got jealous and deflated like a baloon.(Scientists better look for explanations to there mysteries surrounding the man tools.) “What kind of a question is that? Which Abu are you talking about? And how dare you call my name in such a tone? Have you gone nuts or you think you are talking to your sister huh?” These were JAMB questions I got, and to make the matter worst, she asked these questions in a very low tone, thats so not like Esther. So I thought to myself that she didn’t want someone to hear us, definitely making her guilty. So I said “YOU THINK I DIDN’T SEE YOU TWO?”.. This point, she was furious but she didn’t have the energy to slap me as she used to do, so I thought this was all from the bleep she got, she was exhausted. (Yeah! I wrote bleep sha ). But a Jack Sparrow Voice came to me like an angel and said “Hey silly, she is 22, Abu is 30+ but single, you think you can blackmail her?”.. This was when I realised I have allowed vengeance take over me, so I apologised, told her I was just trying to play with her because she looked weak and sick. This was when a clue entered! She had malaria, she was in her nighties at 2pm, I didn’t see her this morning. But damn, how come her hair was scattered? “I don’t have your time now, don’t ever pull a psychological joke on me ever in your life, you get it init?”.. YES! MAH!!!!, I exclaimed as I answered her like I was a cadet and she my commandant. I left the kitchen entrance embarrassed as I went straight up to wear a Kaftan (long sleeved shirt), immediately I wore it, I headed straight to the store room and banged the door oppened.. Ladies and gentlemen, the previous Record of The Shock of the Year was once again broken on the same day.. I had a new Shock of the year!!!! CLICK TO WHATSAPP US! [showad block=3] Friends hurts the most, be careful of the friends you keep”.. Funny how I remembered the words of my teacher advising me to stay away from the kind of friends I associates with while I stood there, looking at Bros Abu and the woman, I guess she was the one I called my Uncle’s Wife few hours ago but at this moment, she was just a woman. “Ummm.. Ummmm.. Danladi, what are you doing here?” She asked in the most vulnerable voice ever, as she stood up from the Old sets of mattress that were in the store,sweating profusely like some stainless steel with ice block inside! while Oga Abu was busy wearing his trousers. Damn! He was also wearing perry colev? and I didn’t remember seeing him remove the condoms. Like he used it anyways. “Joyce weds Daniel”, as I saw it on their wedding calendar the previous day, Joyce was from a wealthy home,a graduate of Law in A.B.U Zaria in her mid 20’s. Didn’t really pay attention to her physical appearances as she was my uncle’s wife. But she was a beauty to behold, especially now that I got to see those b.o.obs she has refused to let sagged. Unfortunately it was all physical beauty, because I just saw the ugliest woman ever! What went wrong? Could it be that my uncle with his pot belly (which explains the XL shirts he keeps giving me ) couldn’t satisfy his wife in bed? Or is it because he is hardly at home? Why? They are just 2years old, no child yet, is that uncle of mine impotent? Abi this Abu of a man use jazz? “My Guy!, its not what you think”.. Abu interrupted my thinkology(pardon! ). I looked at him, I felt a rage inside of me and wanted to break his head, but thank the gods, they over took my actions, I just looked at him and left the store room. (Oga Abu grab oh! Make he no use style beat me for that room because na danger zone I enter.) The phone rang, it was asamoah, I picked it and he started saying words I don’t understand. All I understood was “I don find girl for you”. I have been thinking for almost 2hours in my room, as to why Joyce will cheat on my uncle that worships her. But I thought to myself that enough was enough, so I brought my phone, opened my opera mini, opened my Saved Pages, I was a fan of Lisa Ann and Kapri Styles, so I had pictures of her on web pages saved in my browser. This was an attempt to stop thinking of my uncle’s wife Unclothedness abomination. Or so I thought . “Grrrrhhhhhhhh! Grrrrhhhhhhhh!! Grrrrhhhhhhhh!!!” The bell by the gate rang, while your boy was busy looking for soap to put lagbaja to sleep (Same soap I left outside oh!). At this moment, the thoughts of Joyce came again!. “Why did this Uncle of mine listen to his wife in not having a gateman? How am I supposed to go out there like this to open the gate?”. Wssssh! Back to my kaftan, with some hard-on lost, I went to open the gate, taking note that the Honda EOD was missing, meaning Joyce wasn’t around, Faith and Abigail came in. Abigail didn’t greet me, but faith did. Faith was a chubby girl, more like the younger Toolz in person. An engineering student in Landmark University and with an inquisitive brain. She greeted me and I asked how her outing was, she didn’t answer but asked why my eyes were dull, told her I just woke up. I closed the gate and walked behind them, I don’t know why my eyes went straight to faith’s A$$, but whatever it was, “Blood of Goat” was all my brain could interpret to my eyes, I tried comparing it with that of Lisa Ann’s but I was more interested in knowing the kind of panties she wore. So I abandoned the comparison and tried tracing the panty lines, at this moment, I wasn’t conscious of the environment. All I was following was an A$$ and the rhyme that came to mind was “17, 18, 19, Dohgohroh… I saw legs climb a small stair, this was when I realised we were at the entrance to the house, and like someone snapped out of being hypnotised, I ironed my movements, put both hands in my kaftan shirt to position myself. Ohhh! I went to the backyard to pick up my soap because this new era of temptation was getting much. Got to my room, straight to the bathroom and I masturbathed with Joyce’s Unclothedness, Faith’s A$$ and Esther’s Smile in mind, I was so sure I was gonna Pour twice but phuck this silly brain, it always decieves me. Just once and I have lost the hormones? Upon all the build up? Hope say I nor resemble my uncle oh?

EPISODE 3 Friends hurts the most, be careful of the friends you keep”.. Funny how I remembered the words of my teacher advising me to stay away from the kind of friends I associates with while I stood there, looking at Bros Abu and the woman, I guess she was the one I called my Uncle’s Wife few hours ago but at this moment, she was just a woman. “Ummm.. Ummmm.. Danladi, what are you doing here?” She asked in the most vulnerable voice ever, as she stood up from the Old sets of mattress that were in the store,sweating profusely like some stainless steel with ice block inside! while Oga Abu was busy wearing his trousers. Damn! He was also wearing perry colev? and I didn’t remember seeing him remove the condoms. Like he used it anyways. “Joyce weds Daniel”, as I saw it on their wedding calendar the previous day, Joyce was from a wealthy home,a graduate of Law in A.B.U Zaria in her mid 20’s. Didn’t really pay attention to her physical appearances as she was my uncle’s wife. But she was a beauty to behold, especially now that I got to see those b.o.obs she has refused to let sagged. Unfortunately it was all physical beauty, because I just saw the ugliest woman ever! What went wrong? Could it be that my uncle with his pot belly (which explains the XL shirts he keeps giving me ) couldn’t satisfy his wife in bed? Or is it because he is hardly at home? Why? They are just 2years old, no child yet, is that uncle of mine impotent? Abi this Abu of a man use jazz? “My Guy!, its not what you think”.. Abu interrupted my thinkology(pardon! ). I looked at him, I felt a rage inside of me and wanted to break his head, but thank the gods, they over took my actions, I just looked at him and left the store room. (Oga Abu grab oh! Make he no use style beat me for that room because na danger zone I enter.) The phone rang, it was asamoah, I picked it and he started saying words I don’t understand. All I understood was “I don find girl for you”. I have been thinking for almost 2hours in my room, as to why Joyce will cheat on my uncle that worships her. But I thought to myself that enough was enough, so I brought my phone, opened my opera mini, opened my Saved Pages, I was a fan of Lisa Ann and Kapri Styles, so I had pictures of her on web pages saved in my browser. This was an attempt to stop thinking of my uncle’s wife Unclothedness abomination. Or so I thought . “Grrrrhhhhhhhh! Grrrrhhhhhhhh!! Grrrrhhhhhhhh!!!” The bell by the gate rang, while your boy was busy looking for soap to put lagbaja to sleep (Same soap I left outside oh!). At this moment, the thoughts of Joyce came again!. “Why did this Uncle of mine listen to his wife in not having a gateman? How am I supposed to go out there like this to open the gate?”. Wssssh! Back to my kaftan, with some hard-on lost, I went to open the gate, taking note that the Honda EOD was missing, meaning Joyce wasn’t around, Faith and Abigail came in. Abigail didn’t greet me, but faith did. Faith was a chubby girl, more like the younger Toolz in person. An engineering student in Landmark University and with an inquisitive brain. She greeted me and I asked how her outing was, she didn’t answer but asked why my eyes were dull, told her I just woke up. I closed the gate and walked behind them, I don’t know why my eyes went straight to faith’s A$$, but whatever it was, “Blood of Goat” was all my brain could interpret to my eyes, I tried comparing it with that of Lisa Ann’s but I was more interested in knowing the kind of panties she wore. So I abandoned the comparison and tried tracing the panty lines, at this moment, I wasn’t conscious of the environment. All I was following was an A$$ and the rhyme that came to mind was “17, 18, 19, Dohgohroh… I saw legs climb a small stair, this was when I realised we were at the entrance to the house, and like someone snapped out of being hypnotised, I ironed my movements, put both hands in my kaftan shirt to position myself. Ohhh! I went to the backyard to pick up my soap because this new era of temptation was getting much. Got to my room, straight to the bathroom and I masturbathed with Joyce’s Unclothedness, Faith’s A$$ and Esther’s Smile in mind, I was so sure I was gonna Pour twice but phuck this silly brain, it always decieves me. Just once and I have lost the hormones? Upon all the build up? Hope say I nor resemble my uncle oh? CLICK TO WHATSAPP US! [showad block=3] When will I get to phuck,bang,bleep,straf a real pussay? When will my hands retire from easing my intimate urges? Why am I even afraid of s*x? Which way nah?” I was asking myself in my post- masterbating trauma while I used my towel to clean myself, Ofcourse I took my bath. In contrast, I was not sexually active, I was more like a kid that lies to himself “No s*x, it destroys lives”. But as a Lone wolf, I stay home fantasising about s*x, how a pussay will feel in my umm.. Maybe a huge lagbaja. Lagbaja was a name my ex gave to my Joystick (Long story I tell you, but she gave it that name because I always wore Two underwears: Perry Coles n Swimming pants. And she never got to see it, she only felt it via feelings ) Dressed, headed to the kitchen to find some food. On entering the kitchen, I saw Joyce(The Woman) cooking noodles and when she saw me, I felt an electric shock ran through her. “Good evening aunty” was all I said. “Evening danladi.. You want some noodles?” She asked. Ahahahaha! What? She asked if I wanted noodles? She phucking asked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “No ma” I said with a straight face as I went to take bread from the fridge,looking outside the compound, the Honda EOD was still not around, so I headed straight to d sitting room with “So Bros Abu drive that car wey I wash commot? He dey craze? On my mind. But she called me and said: “Danladi we need to talk”. I have seen this before, right? Yeah!! In the movies. As much as I like Hollywood fictional movies, I am of the highest opinion that Nollywood (Wtf! Hollywood is in Blackberry dictionary and Nollywood aint here? ) is the best when it comes to moral lessons. I stood, looked back at her, straight in her eyes and said: “I don’t what to hear anything, we don’t have anything!”. I felt like the Boss. Dem no born my uncle well make he raise voice for him wife like I did just now. I was in this bossy euphoria when I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. “Mahmah, (a name they call themselves, ajeboptas tho) do you have any panadol left?” Esther asked Joyce. Joyce was kind of shaky but she managed to asked “You still having the headache?”.. That was the last I heard when I took my Bread n Barma to the sitting room as fantasies of me blackmailing this rich Lawyer dreaded me . “What if I tell her I wanted a round? Or perhaps, I ask for money? Chai! Danladi you don hammer!, you be Wassup nigga”.. Drake’s The Motto was playing on MTVB, so I kept on repeating “Real Nigga wassup “, I never really knew what drake was saying tho. “Danladi! Why do you always insert a bread inside barma? I told you 3days ago that this is not how its done, village boy swags”, Faith said with a smile. Faith was a follower on twitter as I followed her also(She had about 4k followes tho), we chat once in a while on DMs but I was always shy to speak to her facially because she had this british accent and I, myself, a confirm benin accent accompanied by stammering. “Un.. n..n..serious Girl of a..of a thing”.. I smiled and said. She was somehow friendly, and I wasn’t comfortable, so I asked if she cared for some bread which she turned down. Sorry I have to put this in a convo, no vex. Faith: So, Lazii Druid’s Party at micheal’s house? Me: Looked up, how did… (Shocked face and she interrupted) Faith: Saw it on your mentions, and kida kudz even retweeted the original tweet by the host. Me: Oh! Cool, you wanna go? Faith: Yup, I retweeted it as a favour, and asamoah said he would give me a blind date. Cool right? Me: Yeah! (Pretty much in my angry mood) Faith:What time is it though? Me: Its 8pm till you pass out, but non residents of VGC will have to be there before 7:30pm. Faith: 5pm already, I guess I better get ready.. *I swear I thought she was joking*

dont agree to a compromise! tell your uncle immediately

and dont use it to blackmail her either!

fire on

Hmmm

Next

Next

EPISODE 4 Piiiiiiiiimmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm”, the Inverter at home sounded, UP NEPA I said as I ran to get a Polo Ralph’s shirt (Still dashing oh) and some camouflage chinos to iron, it was 7pm and from the look of things, everyone was getting ready to go out. While I was pressing, esther gave me a straight skirt to iron for her, with a cute smile, I collected asap, ironed it twice and headed to her room. Getting to her room, I heard the shower running, I thought of hiding in the wardrobe to watch a new movie , but looking on the bed, I saw a thong and a brassiere. Chai! “This bra too small for this girl nah” was all I thought, as I was once again sexually excited. In this moment, I heard the shower reducing, Jack Sparrow whispered into my ear ” Cut!!!!!. Just like the speed of light, I ran outside with the skirt in my hands, and Jack Sparrow whispered Re- run, Action!!. Like some innocent nigga, I burst into the room with the the skirt (like everyone at home knew I don’t knock ), and behold! There she was, picking up her towel in speed to cover herself, but damn my eyes were faster than her speed , and the towel was phucking too short!!!!!!!!! “How many times have I told you to knock before entering? Ehhhh?” She asked with her weak sick- ish voice, still trying to balance the position of the towel. “Skk.. Sk.. Skirt”, was all I said. Funny how I only stammer when I stand in front of cute creations. She collected the skirt and gave me a killer red eye that had “Get The Phuck Out Of Here, but I Like your style” written all over it. Mind you, I felt this girl was a big girl, not my class, so I wasn’t interested in flirting with her, all I wanted to see was her unclothedness, someone said I was a pervet few days ago tho. Heading back to the room to wear my clothes, thoughts of Esther’s unclothedness engulfed me. She had some “C” cupped b.o.obs (Trust me, iont know what C-Cup means but this was my mind at work ), which I was fortunate enough to see because of the towel. Laying on my bed, I started creating an imagination of how she was gonna shave her pubis. Na “V” shape, “I” shape or “?” shape? Abi she go just leave am like chinese Indecency stars?. At this point, I was super Hot, but I couldn’t self-service. Why? Because some OP on nairaland said self- servicing twice a day is unhealthy. (Make I nor catch that guy ohhhhhh ) “Oboy! Where the babe nah?”, I asked Asamoah codedly with my hands as the woofer of the Honda Element was raving some vibrations on my body. “Charlie cool down”, he answered with a mocked sincerity. We were on our way to the party,Joyce, Esther and Abigail were preparing to go for a show at Eko Hotel and Suites when we left in Asamoah’s car. Joyce was still not herself,always trying to eavesdrop on me,monitoring my movements as she was curious of what I think of her now. I just had this feeling that she knew I wouldn’t tell my jew of a uncle. But for the first time in history, I felt staying out the house till 3am wouldn’t attract punishments. *power of blackmail * Asamoah drove into Ikota Shopping complex to get some booze for the party, leaving me and faith (who was busy tweeting and laughing her a$$ out) in the car. I looked at her via the rear mirror as the phone backlight shone on her face. Damn she was beautiful, adorned in a black dress,just a little space between her neck and her packaged b.o.o.bs. “Nice bosoms” I mentioned her on twitter via writelonger, she laughed looking at me. My head was spinning!!!!!!! “Ode! Shy shy baby :p” was all I got as the reply via twitter. (Omo, she no vex ohhhh! ) I looked back and told her I was not a baby, she laughed and dared me to look her in the eyes and tell her what I tweeted in a honest way, since I was naughty on twitter and shy in reality. Was about gathering courage to say this when Asamoah opened the boot, kept something in it and off we went to the party. Like seriously? Why nowwww? (Rihana stole this words 1year later to sing a song sha ) “I owe you a compliment “, I DMed her. ********************************************** [showad block=3] CLICK TO WHATSAPP US! Got to the party at exactly 7:50pm, got down with my borrowd Chuck Taylors(Original Ones oh!). But Faith remained inside. “Guy! Where the greenspring babe?” I asked Asamoah again. *Pardon the convo please? why I dey beg una self?* Asamoah: You be Banku pah, you want greenspring girls when you have some caged Hot beenshes right in your house? Me: (startled) I nor understand you oh A$AP. Asamoah: Charly, those two girls in private universities that leaves in the same house with you na hungry lions! Me: (laughing) Guy forget, dem too dey form jare. Asamoah: See you, you dey fall my hand! Anyhow, Faith is your date, I promised I was gonna peg you with her if she tweets about the party At this moment, I wasn’t sure of the feelings I was showcasing. Was I shocked? Happy? Sad? Or Just indifferent?.. Like she retweeted to be pegged with me? That hot girl? Why? I no reach her class nah! Person wey Lynxx, Wizkid and Dbanj dey follow for twitter? Chai! Self Esteem ran from 20% to 120%. “Guy nor use me play oh! Nor just try am”. I said with a smiley face. Praying hard that he doesn’t say he was joking. He punched me on my chest teasing me with words I didn’t even hear. “Asap wia d booze na? Dispensers are ready”, michael shouted standing at the gate of the house. Asamoah went to the boot to take the drinks he got and took them inside saying “Ladi, remember, One Boy, One Girl, go and win your ticket manl. I tried tweeting at her but damn! Network was bad. I went to open the car and there she was, sitting and tweeting. “Ok, those are the best laps I have seen so far since ummm.. Today? ” I shouted with the little morale I got from Asamoah as she looked at me with a smile and said “That is one”.. *Convo Me: Aha! Ok, Nice Dress Faith: I know, that was why I wore it. Me: (motivated) Ok! I will say it. I guess she was crushing on the ever Blunt twitter character I possessed. So I tried being blunt in a funny way. She placed her palm by her ear(sign that she is listening) and said “Oya!”. *Convo Me: Ok, you knew I was gonna be your date and you wore this brea.st packaging dress? Knowing fully well I might loose my senses of sense? (I said with a “YOLO” face). Faith: Like you lost it in my A$$ this evening right? Me: (shocked and laughing) Damn! You a sense finder? Faith: Nope! The mirror by the window detected a lost sense I guess. Me: That’s sad, because I am yet to retrieve that sense. (The humour exchanges were getting boring, so I opted out before it died). Me: So, is my ticket to my first official big budget party ready to be checked? Seems I got a VVVIP ticket. Faith: Sure, but tickets can’t walk you know? Me: Ayaaaay! This aint what I am thinking right? Make I carry you? Faith: (laughing) No Dummy, take me to the ticket counter. “In Just 20mins, I don turn my real twitter self? And this girl is crushing on me? Chai! I must phuck(dis- virgin) before 2012 finish!!! I must show Aunty Joyce!!, Esther must pay for making me tag myself a Houseboy. Oga Abu must be paying me monthly salary”. These were thoughts I had as I walked through the hefty HFP officials paid to be bouncers for the night. Thanks to Asamoah and this Faith, my self esteem is high. And am balling with rich kids. Won’t be surprised if Jimoh Ibrahim, or Inegbeniki’s kids attended the party self . 9pm. Party was jamming, girls were everywhere and booze were pouring out of the water dispenser like it was ummm.. Water I guess . Faith saw one or two of her school mates there and was discussing with them, and I was chilling with Tobby, the supposed DJ right inside the mini bar in the sitting room. We were in the same Technical crew in church, so standing beside him wasn’t new to both of us. “You dey bassz n Gasz?” Tobby shouted in my ears. I looked at him and shouted back into his ear: “No! What of you?” (Bassz=Drinking, Gasz=Smoking). He laughed and said “EL- O- EL (LOL)”. I wasn’t focused on what he was saying anyway, all I wanted to know was the exact location of my Ticket. Not like I saw anyone smoking on the dance floor. I was letting my eyes wander about looking for faith when I saw a very drunk Yvonne in a skimpy short gown that made me forget faith for an instant. “Hi Danladi”, she said as she punched me on my chest. A strong alcoholic odour swayed in from her mouth as Tobby laughed and said “That’s what am talking about baby”. Yvonne was Asamoah’s junior sister. More like a half sister (she was gonna be 17 by January) as Asamoah was his mom’s last born. Yvonne was born out of wedlock but her mom was known as the second wife. Like Asamoah, she just finished her whatever exam they said they write in Greensprings (I hear say dem no dey write waec ) and she was to travel to london for the continuation of her studies. Oh! She made me conclude Asamoah’s Sisters were endowed at the “BackYANSH”. “Oh common! Don’t wait on the lady inviting you to the dancefloor naurrie boy, she might not ask you know?” Yvonne whispered in my ears with one hell of a seductive voice. Omo! Na so Lagbaja begin dey sing oh!! Come dey vex say he wan commot for mask. “That altered my ego you know? Oya lead the way”. I said in a much manner I believed to be a “drunk” me as I winked at Tobby. She held my hand at the back, just above her A$$ as she led me through the dance floor. Something came over me that made me grabbed her super huge A$$ and the only thing I expected was a slap on my face. Didn’t really care of what might happened though, all I thought was “That’s a super soft A$$!!!!!!!”.

Una turn ass presser abi,na well done oo!!!

Posted before @itzprince https://www.coolval.com/forumsss/topic/must-read-diary-of-a-lekki-houseboy-another-sex-story-part-1/

hmmm