I went to First Bank a day before
yesterday to get my Bank
Verification Number (BVN). The
door rejected me times without
number. I got so frustrated, even
after taking off my shoes. I took
off my belt, ring, wrist-watch,
necklace, also took off my shirt
which has metal buttons. The
bank
door still refused me to enter.
The
bank security man then told me
to
open my mouth. I opened it. The
next thing he said was,
"Eeeyaaaa!!!! Sorry sir, this your
teeth are too strong and looks
like
iron, you can't enter any bank
with
them".
Nigeria teacher was sent to China
to teach.
The first day he entered class, he
began by roll-calling. He said
“Sheng.”
A student said ”present.
”He called the second name, “Chu
muon”
Another student said
”present.”Sudde nly, he sneezed,
”hatchia” one
student seated at the corner
stood up and said, ”present.
”He then exclaimed and said,
”hmmmm…”allthe students
shouted
”absent.”He got confused and
said, ”chai…” three students
stood up and
said, ”which of us sir?” The
teacher became more confused
and he asked,
”what is wrong?” A student
stood up and said, ”sir, I’m not
wrong,
I’mcalled Wong.”The teacher now
laughed and said, ”hahaha ”..
A girl said. ” Present sir.”The
teacher fainted.
Akpors, Ejiro and Ofego were
lost in a forest and then
captured by cannibals.
The king of the cannibals told
the prisoners that they could live
if they pass a trial. The first step
was to go deep into the forest
and get ten pieces of the same
kind of fruits.
The three men went their
separate ways to gather fruits.
Ejiro came back and said to the
king, “I brought 10 apples.”
Then the king explained the trial
to him, “You have to swallow the
fruits without any expression on
your face or you will be killed.
The first apple went in, but on
the second one, he winced out
in pain, so he was killed.
Ofego arrived and showed the
king ten berries. When the king
explained the trial to him, he
thought to himself that this
should be easy…. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8
and on the ninth berry, he burst
out in laughter and was killed.
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Ejiro and Ofego later met in
heaven and Ejiro asked, “Guy,
but why did you laugh na? You
almost got away with the trial.”
Ofego still laughing
uncontrollably replied, “my guy, I
just couldn’t hold the laughter
when I saw Akpors from far
coming with 10 watermelons!
A man forgot to zip up his
trousers, so a lady tells him
politely, "Sir your garage is
open."
The man gave her a naughty
smile as he zipped up and asked
"Did you see my black Range
Rover jeep parked inside?"
The lady smile back and said
"No, just one small Volvo with
two Flat tyres."
A Governor was in the church
for thanksgiving....The topic of
the sermon was " repentance"...
After the sermon, pastor Akpos
asked the congregation ' if
anybody wants 2 give his life 2
God lift ur hand let me pray 4
U......' Nobody responded 4 about
three Minutes.....The Governor
mounted d alter and made a
statement.." if u want 2 give ur
life 2 God plz lift ur hands let
pastor Akpos pray 4 u cos we
want 2 have good citizens in
this state"..... a young guy lifted
up his hands reluctanly.... d
governor asked his PA 2 give the
guy 15 Million naira.....The
governor repeated the same
statement again, this time
around everybody's hands was
up.....The Governor turned 2
pastor Akpos 2 pray 4 them, 2
his greatest surprise pastor
Akpos hand was also up.
