I don't love him,I just miss him
My 6 year old daughter came home annoyed. A boy in her class had said that he loves her and now the whole class is teasing her. The boy had even asked
her to marry him. I thought it was cute. To see her reaction I asked, ’well dear do you love that boy?’. My daughter rolled her eyes and said, ’mamma I
don’t want to be involved in this stuff. I want to study and become a doctor. Such things are a great distraction which will slow you down.' I never
expected this from my little one. She was serious. I couldn’t help laughing, I was seeing myself in her.
Past
I was a straight A student during my high school days. Still I was not termed as a geek. Some popular kids were my friends. I was quite liked by all.
I really enjoyed my school days with my best friends. I never had a crush on anyone. I was not into all that stuff. for me it was unnecessary and I
took my studies seriously. I couldn’t even imagine me falling in love but life has some mysterious ways.
There was a boy in our class, Mike. He was very handsome, good in academics and sports. All girls wanted him. My best friend Maria had a huge crush on
him. I never took any interest in him. just another guy. Roy, Ray and Smith were his best buddies.
One day I was returning from the library. I was alone because my friends never had the habit of visiting the library. Ray and Smith were waiting for
me. they smiled at me. It was something unusual. anyway I smiled back and walked towards them. While Ray was about to say something Roy came from
nowhere and covered his mouth. just then Smith shouted that, Roy has something to say to you and ran away. i looked at Roy he gave me a smile
and then ran behind Smith. i didn’t understand a thing. they were acting like kids.
The same drama continued for days. Boys trying to tell me something but interrupted by Roy always. 'he wants to tell you something'
what's the code for 'he loves you'. My friends started to tease me. What is strange is that Roy never said a word to me or others about this matter.
I had caught him staring at me many times. When I look he gives the same smile, I feel uneasy and turn away. To say the truth, I didn’t know a thing
about Roy and started to feel uncomfortable with him.
Everything changed suddenly. We had to do a science project and the teacher divided us into groups of three. I, Roy and Mike in same group. All
the girls were jealous. they wanted Mike in their group. I didn’t feel anything special about this. Anyway, Mike must be better than Roy.
Days passed. I and Mike became good friends. We used to chat about everything while Roy did the smiling, oh gosh that boy could never speak. But
Roy was brilliant. He became first in the class making me the second. I was angry. Over years it was the first time I lost my first place. Our
group sessions were fun. We three were together many times. when I and Mike were alone he told me about Roy. Roy said something bad about me
and that is what his friends were trying to say. they decided to play along when others took it as a love matter. I don’t know why, but I was
disappointed hearing this. till then I had no feelings toward Roy, but after hearing Mike I hated Roy.
Our school days ended and we went our own ways. My friends noticed the change in me. I was missing someone. they started to tease me saying that
I was in love with Mike. They were right, I was missing someone but it was not Mike but Roy!! I badly wanted to see him smile. i tried to
hide this from my friends but Maria caught me. i told her how I missed Roy. We never had real conversation but something was pulling me towards him.
I myself was surprised about the way I felt even after knowing Roy was playing with me. ’are you in love with Roy’ Maria asked with a naughty smile. I said NO! i don’t love him I just miss him, the way he smiles………. she began laughing.
As the days passed I realized my feeling for Roy were different. i missed his beautiful smile. I missed it all. little did I know that I was in
love. i wondered where he could be. I wanted to see him. one fine morning Mike called me up and apologized. I was confused. he confessed that all
he said about Roy was a lie, he was jealous of him and narrated to me how their friendship collapsed. i was in no mood to hear. I was already in
love with Roy and was super happy to hear this. i assured Mike that he still was my friend.
Years passed. one day I was sitting in a café with my friends. I saw someone approaching us. My heart started beating fast. It was Roy. I was
staring at him. His eyes entranced me and his smile made my heart fly. I wanted to give him a big hug but stood still. Maria teased him, 'Roy do
you still have something to say to her?' He looked straight into my eyes and said. ‘I love you.' I thought it was happening in my head but it was
true. i was super happy.
Present
My husband came home. Without allowing him to change, our little one started to narrate her story and Roy sat there listening to our daughter
telling her story with a serious cute expression. he smiled listening to her and looked at me. The same smile which i hated once but today I cannot
live a day without Roy or our daughter. Even today I wonder how he stole my heart without even uttering a word.
By the way, The name is Roy(RSQ) and am out.
