What does the Quran have to say about
forgiveness? The first thing that the Quran emphasizes is
the relationship between piety (being God
conscious) and forgiveness. For example in
(3:134) it describes a true believer “Those who
spend (freely), whether in prosperity, or in
adversity; who restrain anger, and pardon (all) men;- for Allah loves those who do good. The
Quran makes a connection between
forgiveness (on our part) and our need for
God’s forgiveness. For example in (24:22) “Let them forgive and overlook, do
you not wish that Allah should
forgive you?” In other words if one
wants God to forgive their sins then
they should be understanding to
other people’s difficulties and forgive them. The Quran also ties
between forgiveness and
perseverance. For example we read
in the Quran (7:199) “Hold to
forgiveness; command what is
right; But turn away from the ignorant.” What are some prophetic traditions that
deal with this topic? There are several references from the
sayings of the Prophet and also examples in
his own behavior. First of all, the Prophet
indicated that strength is not found in a
person’s physical strength but rather in a
person’s ability to control himself when he becomes angry. As narrated in Muslim the
strong person is not the one who can defeat
the other but the one who can truly control
himself when he is angry. In a narration by Al
Tabarani, Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) says
“Shall I tell you something that will make your palaces in Paradise higher and that would raise
you in degrees.” They said “Yes.” He replied
“To be forgiving and to control one’s self in the
face of someone who provokes you. To
forgive a person who was unfair or unjust to
you, to give someone in need who did not give you when you were in need and to keep
contact with someone even though they did not
reciprocate it.”
An example from the practical side of the
prophetic tradition is narrated by Al Tabarani
that an Arab Bedouin came to the Prophet and asked for provisions. So Prophet Muhammad
(PBUH) gave him provisions and asked the
man if he had been fair to him. The man in
arrogance and rudeness replied “No, nor have
you been kind nor have you been good to me.”
Many of the companions around Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) got provoked and very
angry and rushed towards him. The Prophet
however restrained them and told them to let
him be. The Prophet went to his home and
asked sent for the man. Then the Prophet
within his home gave the man more provisions and then again asked if he was being faire to
the man. The man replied “Certainly, may God
bless you and reward you.” The Prophet then
told the man that when he had relied in the
negative yesterday it had put unease in the
hearts of his companions and if he could say what he just said in front of them. The Prophet
was more concerned about this person’s
relation with the others than about himself.
The following day they went to the Mosque and
the Prophet stood and said “That Arab Bedouin
fellow claimed yesterday that we were not fair to him and after I gave him more of his needs
he claimed that he is now satisfied and he
turned to the man and said is that true? The
man replied in the affirmative “May God bless
you and reward you for your kindness.” Then
he turned to his companions and said “The example of this man and myself is like
somebody who had a camel, who started
rebelling and started running from him. People
started running after the camel which
increased its excitement and rebelliousness.
The man that owned the camel said leave the camel to me I know how to deal with this
situation. The man picked some grass and
started moving towards the camel slowly till the
camel settled down and was very easily
controlled. This example is similar to this one.
If you got angry with this fellow and you may have killed him in his state of ignorance and he
may have gone to the hell fire. But look at the
result after we took care of his needs while
forgiving his infractions. In the Quran in (60:7)
it says “It may be that Allah will grant love (and
friendship) between you and those whom ye (now) hold as enemies.” This is the attitude
that is found towards this subject in both the
sayings and behavior of the Prophet. Isn’t anger just a reaction to stress and
isn’t always forgiving beyond human
capacity? Islam never asks for anything that is beyond a
human’s capacity. The Quran says in (2:286)
“On no soul doth Allah place a burden greater
than it can bear” We don’t have to be angels
but we must try our best. Anger should always
be controlled and should not be a source for rash actions or lead to rage.
In one saying of the Prophet (PBUH) narrated
in Al Tirmithi he said that “People are created in
different degrees: people who slowly get angry
and forget fast, people who get angry quickly
and forgive quickly, people who are slow to get angry and slow to forgive, and people who get
angry quickly and slowly forgive.” Then he
said “The best of those people are those in the
first category and the worst belongs to the last
category.” Are there certain innate qualities that
make them more likely to be forgiving
than others? The most innate character that causes people
to forgive is the purity of their hearts. These
people generally have a heart that is
connected with its creator and a heart that tries
its best to comply with the will of God. In the
Quran in (59:10) it describes the true believers prayers “Our Lord! Forgive us, and our
brethren who came before us into the Faith,
and leave not, in our hearts, rancor (or sense
of injury) against those who have believed.
Our Lord! Thou art indeed Full of Kindness,
Most Merciful.” In a saying of the Prophet (PBUH) in Ibn Maja he was asked which type
of people are the best. Prophet Muhammad
(PBUH) answered “A person who is truthful
and a person whose heart is (makhmoom)
clean and pious with no sinful tendencies, no
aggression, no grudges nor jealousy.” In the collection of Hadith by Bukhari the Prophet
(PBUH) said “Do no cut yourself from one
another, do not turn your back on each other,
do not hate each other, do not be jealous of
each other and be servants of God as
brothers.” He continued “It is not legitimate for a Muslim to boycott his brother for more than
three days.”
Is there any authority that can oblige a person
the Muslim to accept an apology in the cases
of disputes or misunderstandings?
We quoted earlier from the Quran (24:22) “Let them forgive and overlook” which is only one
example that addresses this subject. In Ibn
Maja where the Prophet is quoted that if a
person gives a sincere apology to his brother
(for wrong that he has done to him) that is not
accepted. The person doesn’t accept the apology would have a sin as much as a person
who takes people’s property away without
reason.”
It is quite obvious from these examples that
the idea behind an apology is not to humiliate
the person but for it to be accepted in good faith. This includes family disputes and that
people should not bring up the past and always
be overly critical.
