Before you say I didn’t warn you, let me give you a piece of advice—don’t get married; or if you must, make sure that you know everything about your partner. Now, I know you might ask if it’s possible to know everything about anyone, but believe me, it’s either you do that, or you are better off unmarried. To prevent being like me. Yes, me. Before you think I’m some unmarried bitch who is up against the holy institution of marriage, let me give you a piece of information about me: this is the seventh year of my marriage to my husband, Daniel Okeke. And in about thirty minutes, that marriage would be over.
You might ask what happened. Well, this story isn’t one you come across everyday. Except for the beginnings of it. We had a whirlwind romance—barely three months—and before I knew it, he was kneeling in front of me at my friend’s engagement party, and popping the millionaire-dollar question at me.
“Will you marry me Chisom?” he had asked, while looking so utterly handsome and vulnerable at the same time.
During short time we’d been together, he had proven to be the exact antithesis of why I dreaded men; he was kind and old fashioned, sweet, very observant, and his most endearing quality was his amazing discipline. When we had started dating, I’d told him that I won’t have sex with him till I was sure of him (probably till our wedding night, as I hinted). He hadn’t complained or raised objections; he just continued loving me. There were times when we would be making out, and it seemed that the throes of romance would overwhelm us, he was always the one to put a stop to them, reminding me that we had to wait till our wedding night. In the end, we didn’t really make it to our wedding night, I had seduced him two weeks before he proposed to me. Yet I’d never seen such sexual discipline in a man.
I had stared into his deep, dark-brown eyes, and saw the infinite amount of love he had for me, and had uttered the very words that caged me. “Yes! Yes, I’ll marry you.” Two months after that, I was officially Mrs. Chisom Udeh-Okeke. Our early years together had been very blissful, making me wonder why people saw marriage as a horrific thing. At that time, we were so busy with our respective works, and so we decided to postpone giving birth till our third year in marriage. Well, let me rephrase this statement: he decided to postpone giving birth, and had convinced me that it was best for us.
But then, he had other clandestine reasons for deciding against kids. When I was now ready to give birth, to carry my own children, he changed entirely. He rarely touched me, and whenever he did, he made sure I was in my safe period. I never understood why he was so much against the idea of having children, and when I eventually confronted him, he was as evasive as before.
“Dan, why is it that you don’t want us to have our own children?”
“Who gave you that idea?” He looked so genuinely shocked at the question that I became unsure of myself. Was I being paranoid and insecure about him? On a second thought, I decided to press him further.
“No one gave me the idea Dan,” I replied, “but doesn’t it bother you that it’s been four years of married without children?”
“Sugar, listen to me. I understand your concerns. But we’re still young, we can still have kids. Moreover, we are both too busy at work. How will we have time for the perfect children we want to have?”
He sounded so honest, so believable that I let the issue go. Soon, I got caught up with immense workload and it seemed like he was right all along. Supposing I was heavy with child, how could I have coped?
Why didn’t I read the handwriting on the wall?
Another year passed, and yet no changes. Instead, he had almost totally forgotten that there was anything like sex in marriage. He was always there for me in all ways except making love to me. That was a problem for me because I have always been one with a big sexual appetite. I confided in my friend Bukky, who explicitly told me that the reason my husband was acting weird was because he was having an affair with another woman. The idea of that had crossed my mind but I chose not to entertain such thoughts because of the sanctity of our marriage. But hearing another person voice it out was totally unnerving. That was the height of it.
Bukky advised me to find a way to quell my sexual urges before I ended up being frustrated. She told me that she could hook me up with a man friend of hers who would “make my sexual life sparkle”, but I had another, less extreme idea in mind. Two days after talking to her, I bought a vibrator. It served me well, making me to almost forget that Daniel hadn’t made love to me in over a year. Sadly, with all inanimate things, it got to a point where I needed more than a robotic satisfaction of my needs. And so I got involved with Bukky’s man friend Johnson. Johnson was magnificently built, with a towering height of six feet six inches, a ruggedly handsome face, with a body girls would die for. And he was there to please me.
Soon, I found excuses to either come home late or go away for the weekend. My romance with Johnson gave me what had been lacking in my life for almost three years now—romance. We made love uncountable times, and truth be told, when it comes to to making love, Johnson beat Daniel my husband hands down. Then something so unexpected happened; something that was very awkward, but was also an answered prayer happened. I got pregnant for Johnson. By then, I had known that my marriage to Daniel was all but over. I had also fallen in love with Johnson, as he had with me. Why else would he want me to keep his baby?
The time I finally realized why Daniel didn’t want to have kids was when I told him that I wanted a divorce.
“I’m sorry Daniel, but I’m in love with another person. I want a divorce.”
“I knew this day would come. By the way, Johnson is a catch.”
“How-how did you—” I couldn’t find the words.
“Know? Have you forgotten that I work in a security firm? Moreover, I knew that your late nights and weekend trips weren’t in vain.”
“B-but why didn’t you say anything?”
“What could I have said? And mind you, I still love you. I didn’t want anything to come between us.”
“But this has.”
“Yes, it has.”
“I’m so sorry—”
“Don’t be, please. I can understand why you sought comfort outside. I haven’t been the best of husbands. And I know you’ve always yearned for a child.” At that his statement, my hand automatically went to my stomach. He saw the movement, and his eyes widened in shock.
“Finally, he gave you what I was unable to give you.”
“What exactly do you mean Daniel?”
“I had never wanted to tell you about this… but I guess no harm can be done again.” He took a deep breath, sighed, and continued, “I had a broken home while growing up. My parents were always fighting, and I never could remember a time when they were happy together. My father drank excessively, after which he would come home and use my mother as a punching bag. When I was twelve, they divorced, and I was separated from my only sibling, my elder sister. I went to live with my dad’s parents and my sister stayed with my mom’s family. Thankfully, my dad never remarried, but living with him was hell. He never cared about me, always doing whatever he deemed best for himself.
“After, my university education, which was sponsored by my uncles, I left home and had never returned. I went in search of my sister, and later found her. By then, she was married to a hotshot lawyer. She was also a lawyer. That was when I thought about how my life had panned out; I resolved not to give birth to any child so as not to subject the child to any family trauma. I got a vasectomy to ensure that I would never be able to father any child. Never did I imagine that I would meet and fall in love with you.”
When he was done, I couldn’t find any words to say. What could I have even said? I had been living for seven years with a total stranger, and had never gotten a whiff of who he was exactly. Thank God I was leaving him. How could I have lived with him for the rest of my life without children? Thank you Bukky.
So, that’s it. Within the next couple of weeks, I filed for a divorce, as I would marry Johnson shortly after the divorce. I moved out of the house, and lived with Johnson. Through it all, the only thing Daniel did was to always say that he loved me, and that I should do what made me happy. He had remained a true gentleman to the end.
Now, we are to go into the courtroom to start the process of getting a divorce. But Johnson isn’t anywhere in sight, he’s always so late. Well, he’d better hurry up, he has to be here to help with my argument. Just before I go into the courtroom, Bukky sidled up to me, and handed me a piece of paper. I read it, and felt the world turning about, and I nearly fainted out of shock. It was a letter from Johnson. In it, he said that he was sorry, and that he could not continue with the whole thing.
“ I can’t marry you, Chisom ,” he wrote, “ you’re not the woman for me.”
What do I do now? Life has really thrown me a huge curveball, and there’s no way of getting back. I would get divorced today, and be a single mother, leaving the man who loved me… for… for nothing. Bukky noticed my demeanour and I informed her of the developments. She advised me keep calm and go through with the process first.
“I’m sure Johnson is just scared of marriage. He would come around, he has to,” she commented.
Then the judge came in, and the proceedings began. Normally, my lawyer would have started with his opening statement, but Daniel’s lawyer took permission from the judge; he had something to say.
“Forgive me Your Honour. This is an unusual request, but my client, Mr. Daniel Okeke has something he wishes to say to his wife before the court proceeds.”
“Why hasn’t he said it to her before now?” the Judge asked.
“He hasn’t had the chance ever since she moved out of his house.”
“Very well then, he has one minute.”
And the next minute showed me exactly who I was married to, and why he was the best. Daniel stood up, and he was looking like a shadow of himself. His eyes were bloodshot and sad. He looked gaunt, and unkempt. But it was his words that got to me the most.
“Ladies and gentlemen, Your Honour, thanks for this opportunity,” he started, “Chisom, never in a million years did I ever see myself worthy of you. Yet, fate gave you to me. I had thought myself incapable of love, yet this heart will forever beat for you. I lied to you because I thought I would lose you, but funny enough, that’s what I’m doing right now—loosing you. And that’s is what I cannot bear. I can’t bear to lose you my wife. When we took our marital vows, we never said that there was a condition for divorce, and I don’t see any condition for it now. I’m ready to start afresh with you. On the grounds of love, honesty and loyalty, but only if you would accept me back.”
Then he produced the ring he had slotted into my finger on the day of our wedding, and which I had given back to him the day I moved out. Holding the ring, and in the presence of the whole courthouse, he knelt down and said.
“ Will you continue to be my wife, Chisom ?”
Then there was a pindrop silence; everyone had their eyes riveted on me as Bukky nudged me up. I took a tentative step towards him, and then a couple more steps until I stood facing him. Seeing him kneeling with the ring brought back memories of when he had proposed to me before. There was a stark contrast between the faces of the man who proposed then, and this one who was proposing now. But there was also something that was constant in both men—the eyes, they were filled with endless love for me.
I asked, “Even with the baby?”
He nodded, “Especially with the baby.”
What kind of man was he? And why did he love me so? I felt hot tears burning my eyes. I felt so lucky, so blessed. And what kind of woman would reject such kind of a man?
“Yes, Daniel. Yes, I’ll continue to be your wife.”
There was a great applause in the courthouse that the judge had a hard time bringing everyone to other. When everyone was quiet, the judge said, “This case is closed before it even got started.” He then rapped the gavel and dismissed the court. I left the courthouse hands entwined with my husband’s.
