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Cycle of Grief

Cycle of Grief

By Itzprince in 2 Apr 2018 | 16:48
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Itzprince Itzprince

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It was a beautiful evening.
I watched as raindrops cooled the sand in the
orange crepuscule of what was a beautiful day.
Hah the weather was tempting, I was itching to
run out of the one room I shared with my
mother to go out and play with the other kids.
I watched eagerly waiting for her to take
cognizance of my predicament. Which she did.
“Tammy have you done your homework?”
Mother asked me, taking a fraction of a second
to lift her eyes from the money she was
counting; which was without doubt scattered
across the centre table.
“Yes mother” I answered meekly. Quickly
averting her eyes before she could see my
desperation.
And as always, mother said “Tammy all you
have to do is ask me; you know I will do
anything for you”.
Her arm emballed my neck, almost impeding
my breathe.
I struggled free, out of her embrace; a smile
stretched the edges of my face.
“Thanks a lot mom, you’re the best” I shouted
as I ran out the door. As fast as my legs could
go.
“Hey Chinyere, my mama don allow me to
come play with you” I screamed excitedly at
my best friend.
She was five years old and a tad smaller and
Skinnier than I was.
“Oya come na ‘tams” she beckoned me.
Without much ado, I was neck deep in the wet
sand that filled the humongous compound.
They say time flies when no one is looking.
Twilight had given way to darkness. The
beautiful orange glow was gone but the rain
refused to let up, it fell harder now. I solemnly
made my way back to my room when I heard
my name. “Tammy, that your tall uncle don
come oh” a voice that carried contempt said in
the darkness. I’d know that voice anywhere, it
still haunts my dreams. I ignored Precious and
her vicious sneers as well as her rants.
Dejectedly, I ran up to ‘my uncle’. A smile I had
learned to wear, all thanks to mother and ‘her
friends’. “Uncle welcome” I shouted with what
summed up as childhood approval. I jumped
into his hands, as he carried me all the way to
our room. I watched mother’s countenance
light up as she saw him.
Oblivious of my presence. Or so I thought till I
got that dismissing glance. I walked out of the
room; still prettified by that smile. I walked
silently to Aunty Tina’s house, mother’s best
friend in the compound.
On seeing me she asked, “your uncle don
come?” Indifferently might I add. “Yes auntie” I
answered, my disapproval quite evident.
“Eh be like you go sleep for here this night, na
already nine pm”. I nodded in obeisance.
Aunty Tina never handled disobedience or
arguments well. Continuing she added, matter
of factly “thank God say my husband no de
around, you go sleep for ground inside room
eh”.
I replied with another nod.
A steaming plate of hot rice and fried plantain
was placed before me.
Not one to back down from a plate of food. I
ate with great rapacity and gusto.
A loud burp signalled the end of my meal.
It was about eleven pm before I fell into the
whirlwind of a delightful slumber.
It was a cold ash Wednesday morning. The
house was in pitch darkness when I woke up.
Profusely rubbing my eyelids, in a bid to
remove the cloak of heaviness cast by the
goddess of sleep.
Staggering half-dazed I made my way out of
Aunty Tina’s house, heading straight to mine.
I shivered. It was cold. I could hear the harsh
whisper of each breathe I inhaled.
I knocked; softly at first. No reply. I knocked for
several minutes before I heard mother groan.
I imagined her rousing ‘uncle’ from the throes
of sleep. “Mom na me, Tammy” I spoke in the
softest of tone.
Her voice laced with sarcastic incredulity she
asked “Tammy? ? Werin happen? What are you
doing outside by this time?” Mother asked.
In the stillness of the morning I heard her
maneuver her way to the door, releasing the
bolt.
I wiggled my way into the room. My eyes
already accustomed to the blackness of the
night.
“Mama I wan go toilet” I answered. “For this
midnight? Better hold am till tomorrow
morning” she replied, treading back to the
small mattress we shared.
I followed at her heel. I watched ‘uncle’ who
was deep in the recesses of sleep. I watched
her.
Fraught in the borderline between worry,
concern and thinly veiled disapproval.
I sat on the only upholstery in the room; the
mattress already occupied. “Oya go outside go
arrange the water way you go use” she spoke
sardonically.
A huge wave of relief washed over me. I edged
my way out of the room.
Skedaddling to the huge black drum where we
stored water, I filled the toilet bucket with
water.
I waited for mother; who came almost a
minute too late. “hey Tammy make we go” a
gruff voice said behind me.
“Uncle Henry? Go where” I asked, perplexed.
Coming to the rescue mother replied “I go call
am to escort you go the toilet, I no go fit leave
your uncle alone” she offered as a way of
explanation.
I said nothing, cleared my throat as I picked up
my bucket and made my way down the
compound to where the convenience was
located. ‘Uncle Henry’ walking briskly behind
me.
I was scared, almost slowing down to a halt; I
scanned the entrance of the convenience
building which was well away from the rooms.
Taking cognizance of my predicament, ‘uncle
Henry’ walked in; urging me to follow suit. I
hurriedly followed him into the building.
I could hear the chirping of invisible insects.
Something flew towards me, causing a mild
ruckus; I waved my hand frantically in a bid to
cover my eyes and swat my attacker.
My bucket of water broke, drenching me. We
had gotten to my stall. I pushed the door open,
it creaked slowly before ‘uncle Henry’ kicked it.
I stared inside.
Looking carefully at every crevice, searching for
insects and rodents alike. I quickly moved to
the side as a rodent rushed past me.
“You de fear rat?” Uncle Henry asked
mockingly. “I no de fear, I just hate am” I
answered, my voice quivering. I entered the
stall amidst trepidation.
Getting my skirt out of the way I gave to ‘uncle
Henry’, I climbed up the platform and lowered
my pant; getting down to business. Uncle Henry
waited for me outside the stall; I left the door
open.
The stall was illuminated by the torchlight I
clasped tightly. In no time I was done. I called
for ‘uncle Henry’ to pass the bucket; its content
all but gone.
He silently walked into the stall, gave me the
bucket and just stood there; staring at me.
“Uncle Henry de go outside na?” I asked, out of
embarrassment than anything else.
Shaking his head he answered, “No, I wan stay
for here with you”. I ignored him as I washed
up, rose to my feet when I finished.
No sooner had my feet left the platform did he
rush towards me. I was taken aback. He
pushed me till my back was against the wall. I
was stupefied by it all.
Finding my voice I asked in the authority and
wisdom of a six year old girl “hah uncle Henry,
wetin happen na?”. I struggled to push him
away from my half naked body while I tug on
my underwear.
He said nothing, for an answer he tugged my
panties free and proceeded to lock the stall. I
was trapped, between his chest and the wall.
At first I thought he was afraid but something
about the way he pressed me felt out of place.
His right hand cupped my oval face, his lips
descended on mine; as he kissed me.
Forcing his tongue; saliva into my mouth. I
struggled against him, pushing and screaming.
He swallowed my screams.
When he spoke he sounded different, “I don de
like you since I come this compound” he said
before he let me go.
Uncle Henry took the torchlight from me and
switched it off, darkness quickly enveloped us.
I was thrown into discombobulation I heaved a
sign of relief. But my respite was brief.
I heard a strange noise coming from him, with
my back to him I couldn’t see what he was
doing.
It was dark. I groped in the pitch darkness,
unaccustomed to the blackness of the night.
Strong hands gripped mine, he forced my
searching hands down until he wrapped it
around something. It was flesh; an eerie flesh.
It was hard, spongy and soft with deep veins. I
tried to free my hands from the strange organ;
but he held me still.
In a futile means of escape I bit hard into the
first place I could find. A pained yelp escaped
his lips, a few seconds later one escaped mine
as he slapped me. I cried out in pain.
His hands covered my mouth as my scream
died within me. “If you do that thing again I go
leave you for here go, you hear me?” Uncle
Henry threatened me.
His breathing was laboured, as was mine. I
trembled from fear and something else.
His lips descended roughly on mine as his
knees nudged my legs apart.
A slight intrusion from that place where my
thighs join had me pushing him again wanting
to get free.
For the umpteenth time his hands clasped my
mouth, forcing my scream to die inside of me.
Painful sensations flooded my senses as he
pushed something inside of me. I shook from
the sheer force of the movement.
My eyes watered from pain. Still pressing me
with his body weight, he moved the object of
pain inside of me; hurting me.
Tears ran down my cheeks, I was dazed. I was
numb. I heard my name from afar, someone
was calling from a distance.
A slap jolted me, quickly bringing me back to
reality. The flashlight shining directly on my
face, so I couldn’t see his. “Take” Uncle Henry
said as he offered me my underpant, “clean
your leg” he instructed me.
Quietly I collected it, only as I began to wipe
did I see the tickle of blood that had found its
way to my ankle.
I scrubbed furiously all the while wondering
where it had come from. When I was done, I
wore the bloodstained undergarment.
I didn’t know what uncle Henry did to me but I
knew that it hurt alot. It hurt when I attempted
to walk; and the pain stemmed from my inside,
“that place where I de piss”.
We made it out of the convenience in total
silence. I wiped my sudden sweat. I ached, I
was sore and my legs felt heavier.
We walked straight to ‘Aunty Tina’s’ no use
bothering mother and ‘uncle’.
I laid on the mat at the foot of the bed where
‘Aunty Tina’ snored contentedly.
Sleep evaded me; pain was my companion for
the remainder of that night.
Morning came slowly, almost as if God was
taking His time. I trudged back home, mother
had left with ‘uncle’.
I read the note on the floor. Shuffled to the
neat mattress and laid down to rest.
A compensation for the sleepless night.
That day was the first time in four years I had
missed a school day.
It was six years later before I knew what ‘uncle
Henry’ did to me that night. What he took from
me.
It’s now ten years after that.
Here I am standing at the entrance of the
morgue, peering at the grotesquely decorated
body; lying lifeless on the bed.
His face ghastly and bloodied, bruised beyond
recognition.
Mother wrinkled her face in disgust, quickly
making her way out of the room.
I walked in, a smile spreading the corners of
my lips as I registered his appearance. Indeed a
better death could not be asked for.
I imagined the pain he must have endured and
my smile widen the more.
Silently given kudos to the God I had
abandoned years earlier I answered
“Yes I know him, he’s my uncle”. That night I
slept sober and soundly for the first time in
sixteen years…


THE END.
________________________________________________________
By Nabiebu Selina
2 Apr 2018 | 16:48
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2 Apr 2018 | 16:52
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hmmmmmmm
2 Apr 2018 | 18:49
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What a wicked Uncle
3 Apr 2018 | 02:45
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served him right
3 Apr 2018 | 03:06
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Did you kill him
3 Apr 2018 | 08:52
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Hmmm what a wicked man
3 Apr 2018 | 17:33
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wickedness no good oooo
4 Apr 2018 | 06:22
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God! Such wickedness and cruelty meted out to a six years old lad! How on earth do these demons get an erection with such amatures is still a wonder to me....
4 Apr 2018 | 14:16
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