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CHRONICLES OF JOKES

CHRONICLES OF JOKES

By A.K in 23 Jan 2019 | 07:43
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A.K Joshua

A.K Joshua

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Member since: 27 Oct 2017
An Ijebu engineer can't find a job so he opens a
clinic and puts a sign outside
'GET TREATMENT FOR
20k - IF NOT CURED GET BACK 100k.
An Ijesha lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn 100k and goes to the clinic...
Ijesha Lawyer:
"I have lost my sense of taste"
Ijebu man:
"Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth"
Ijesha Lawyer:
"Ugh..this is kerosene"
Ijebu man:
"Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me 20k"
The annoyed Ijesha lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money...
Ijesha Lawyer:
"I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything"
Ijebu man:
"Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth"
Ijesha Lawyer (annoyed):
"This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste"
Ijebu man:
"Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me 20k"
The fuming Ijesha lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back 100k.
Ijesha Lawyer:
"My eyesight has become very weak"
Ijebu man:
"Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this 100k"
D Ijesha Lawyer (staring at the cash):
"But this is 20k,
not 100k"
Ijebu man:
"Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me 20k"
You can't beat an ijebu man.
23 Jan 2019 | 07:43
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IN HOLLY WOOD Merlin will say jxt two words and a fire breathing dragon will appear. IN NOLLYWOOD Odunlade will recite a whole book of incantation(366 pages) jxt to off candle. then he'll finally tell u to bring the following >8 virgin rat > 10 married ants >7 pregnant mosquitoes > 2 lesbian hen .....To appease the gods ••••but niaja why
23 Jan 2019 | 07:55
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I never knew our house has a lot of corners until my mum said Ayo go and bring me those fried meat dat is inside the home theatre carton at d back of d cupboard near d visitor's room.
23 Jan 2019 | 07:58
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When you buy a phone of N640,000 and a SIM card of N50. Few days later the phone gets missing and all you can say is " it's not even the phone that is paining me, it's the SIM card". Alaye......, if I slap you eh, your ancestors will feel dizzy
23 Jan 2019 | 08:01
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English Language is not by force, if u can't speak correctly, kindly use pidgin or your mother tongue. Today at First Bank, I told a girl " excuse me, pls move back I want to pass" and she said " PLEASE! PLEASE!! PLEASE!!! I can't go backer than this, this is the backest I can go, can't you see there is somebody in front of my back? gbagam!!3 pple Fainted. Overdose_forming on pooiii
23 Jan 2019 | 08:04
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*****God help 9ja***** Because someone couldn't afford #50 for transport fare, he trekked and trekked under the hot sun until his shadow left him and entered bike. No be joke.....
23 Jan 2019 | 08:07
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Heartbreaks are bad Chai..My cousin has been washing one plate for 49 mins. That's why I gave my heart to Jesus.
23 Jan 2019 | 08:08
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When you submit your C.V for a job interview,& one week later you went to buy Suya from Aboki and you discover it was the C.V you submitted that was used to wrap the suya for you THE WITCHES IN YOUR VILLAGE WILL BE LIKE​¡¡¡¡ IT'S OUR WORK OOOH​, SOFTWORK​!!!
23 Jan 2019 | 08:10
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Hahahaha, friends are always wonderful. I reached home late last night and dad asked me "where were you? Me : At a friend's place dad. In front of me, dad called 10 of my friends. 4 of them said "yes sir, she was here", 2 said "she just left sir", 3 said "she's here sir, studying, should I give the phone to her? and 1 of them went an extra mile to speak to dad (in my voice) "Yes dad...what's happening" I fainted.
23 Jan 2019 | 08:21
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Teacher : simply define Confusion Chinedu: CONFUSION is when you go steal meat from the pot, and you forget whether the spoon was on top or inside the pot
23 Jan 2019 | 08:22
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Hahahahahahaha
23 Jan 2019 | 08:32
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You no go kill person with laff ooo
23 Jan 2019 | 09:10
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@A.K Joshua Oya come dey go, let me be seeing the back yard of Your head, she's right naw Back Backer Backest, Good Gulder Goodest
23 Jan 2019 | 09:16
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When two ladies fight, It doesn't matter who took Many Punches. If your weave was Removed You Automatically lost the Fight.
23 Jan 2019 | 09:45
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If girls are to walk in town like the way they pose in their pictures I swear ,the government will record the highest ever DISABILITY RATE in the country.
23 Jan 2019 | 09:51
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Having an insecure boyfriend is not easy, You will be in church and he will call you and ask "Babe where are you?", You will say " I'm in church honey " And he will be like "Give Jesus the phone"
23 Jan 2019 | 09:52
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Hahahaha thiz is reali crazy
23 Jan 2019 | 10:17
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VERY FUNNY
23 Jan 2019 | 10:45
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Don't loose a GOOD girl just becos they said 'There are many FISHES in the river... SCUBIA and TITUS no be the same oo..
23 Jan 2019 | 11:05
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The greatest shock u can get is havinq sex with ur pregnant wife n suddenly the hands of the child grab ur thing n say . papa abeg see my eye oo ....
23 Jan 2019 | 11:22
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LOL, my chest ooh
23 Jan 2019 | 12:04
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funny you...
23 Jan 2019 | 12:06
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hahahahahaha
23 Jan 2019 | 12:58
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KUL
23 Jan 2019 | 14:47
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lol
24 Jan 2019 | 06:38
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A couple just had an argument and were going for a function. They were not speaking, until they passed a farm’s open field where some pigs were playing around in the mud. “Relatives of yours, I believe,” the husband said. “Yes,” agreed the wife. “The in-laws”.
24 Jan 2019 | 13:38
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Akpos came home crying from school. His father went back with him to find out why his teacher beat him. FATHER: Ma. Why did you beat my son? TEACHER: Ask your son what he did? FATHER: Akpos, what did you do? AKPOS: I asked why is her Bra singular when it covers two items and Panties plural when it covers just one item? lol. Do you think Akpos deserved the beating
24 Jan 2019 | 13:40
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OMODAN: today we will b treating career development, so each one of u will tell me where your father’ work BOLA: Sir, My Dad, is a medical Doctor he work’s in the National Hospital Abuja OMODAN: clap for Her, next person! ALI: sir, my dad, is a banker he works with Skye Bank OMODAN: clap for him, next! SABISABI: bros, my papa na Bank too, E dey Work with Moon Bank. OMODAN fainted
24 Jan 2019 | 13:42
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PASTOR: Praise the Lord!!! CHURCH MEMBERS: HALLELUJAH!!! PASTOR: That halleluyah is too small for my God. AKPOS: Who are you? Heaven's sound system engineer?
24 Jan 2019 | 13:45
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Wife: Honey Christmas is approaching. Husband: Thanks for reminding me. Can't wait. Wife: Get me a Tablet for Christmas. Husband: Really? Wife: Yeah. Husband: Paracetamol or Vitamin C? Wife: I mean Samsung Tablet baby Husband: Relax!! It's Jesus Birthday not yours! Alakoba
24 Jan 2019 | 13:46
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#secondary school Days That Awkward Moment when you go to visit your Friend in another class and you suddenly heard *"All of you should Kneel Down!"*
24 Jan 2019 | 13:49
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Akpos is sleeping in class while the teacher is teaching. Teacher: Akpos why are you sleeping? Akpos: Ma, because your voice is so sweet. Teacher: But why is the whole class not sleeping? Akpos: Because they are not listening.
24 Jan 2019 | 13:56
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Lol
24 Jan 2019 | 14:36
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A man went for an interview and was asked Sir how far did you go to education the man replied; I didn't go far cause ma school was in front of ma house
24 Jan 2019 | 14:59
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Nothing is more painful than your neighbor having light and you don't.
24 Jan 2019 | 16:41
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A Unclad lady who escaped from ritualist ran into a taxi and told the driver Akpos where she was going. Akpos did not start the car. He was just staring at the lady. The lady looked at him and said; What’s your problem, driver? Haven’t you seen a Unclad lady before?. Akpos replied; I am not looking at your unclothedness. I am just wondering where you kept the money that you are going to pay me with.
24 Jan 2019 | 16:45
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When You Want to Charge your phone In a Football Viewing centre and You Mistakenly Off The DSTV during penalty shoot out.. shey you remember when your mum always tell you that your phone will kill you one day ?.. The moment has finally come.. Just get ready to die
24 Jan 2019 | 16:48
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The reason why Nigerian women did not go to the Olympics in Brazil because they were afraid of meeting the owners of their hair! BRAZILIAN HAIR
24 Jan 2019 | 16:50
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The way some people are black in NIGERIA ehhhh ,if you shoot dem in the night...the bullet will come back to you and ask for torchlight.
24 Jan 2019 | 16:51
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Have been having chest pain since one slay queen told me "Beauty Lies In The Eyes Of The *Decoder*" Abeg Sis, which decoder DSTV abi GOTV Hold me abeg I no wan faint
24 Jan 2019 | 16:53
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People on WhatsApp that their status has been "At the gym" for the past 3 yrs..Please are you preparing to destroy the world?
24 Jan 2019 | 16:54
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You will tell a guy you're single and he will be like "That can't be TRUE" Uncle, if you want toast, toast, don't be dragging my singleness with me, is it your singleness??
24 Jan 2019 | 16:55
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Lol
25 Jan 2019 | 08:02
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Yesterday 3 girls raped a boy in my area, and the boy is foolishly crying. Since morning have been passing that same road, looking for rape.
26 Jan 2019 | 06:11
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Nigeria nurses are rude. They will call you by your sickness, “Oga Diabetes Where You Dey Go”
26 Jan 2019 | 06:11
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Some Nigeria will be crying at funerals and still use that same eyes to locate who is sharing mineral and rice
26 Jan 2019 | 06:13
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