10 Questions To
Ask Him When
Your Relationship
Starts Getting Stale Posted by: Kehnny Lawal December 30, 2015 Want to connect with him on a deeper
level? These questions will get things
started. With practically the entire world logged
on to something, you would think we are
more connected than ever. In reality we
are less connected than ever, probably
because people are holding themselves
back — pigeonholing their emotions into status-worthy updates. To be in a relationship you need to have
a meaningful connection, and that only
comes when you are truly connected. Dr.
John Gottman, a therapist known for his
work on marriage stability and divorce
prediction, found in his research that updating Love Maps — his term for getting
to know your partner’s world — helped
keep couples connected. According to
him, it’s important to update them often,
as we are always changing. Use the following 10 questions to better
understand your partner’s world and stay
connected on a deeper level: 1. In your life, what has been the biggest
blessing in disguise? We’ve all been there, and we never
thought it would happen to us. But
sometimes the toughest moments in life
lead to something better. Share your
story with your partner and be sure to
listen to theirs. 2. If you woke up tomorrow with no fear,
what would you do first? Use this fun question to find out what
your partner really wants do in life and
show your support for their dreams. 3. Does spending time with other people
energize or drain you? This will help you figure out if your
partner is an introvert or an extrovert. But
be careful about making assumptions.
People think extroverts are fun and
outgoing and that introverts are shy and
don’t really like being around people, but everybody is different. 4. If you could write a note to your
younger self, what would you say in three
words? This would also give you the chance to
talk about both of your childhoods, and
get a better view of what kind of person
your partner wants to be. 5. What would your perfect day look like? It doesn’t have to be a special day, but
this question will help you figure out how
your partner really wants to spend their
time and how that relates to how you
want to spend yours. 6. Do you usually follow your head or your
heart when making decisions? This will reveal if your partner is thinker
or a feeler. Most people have a primary
mode of making decisions. Don’t let your
partner get away with answering both. 7. When was the last time your cried? Even the strongest people go soft at
times. Try to see if you can get an honest
answer out of your partner, but make
sure your partner feels safe enough to
share something like that with you. 8. What’s the best way to end a long
day? Not only will this help you learn more
about your partner, but you can also use
their answer to surprise them in the
future. 9. What’s something you’re glad you’ll
never have to do again? This question can be very telling. Usually
the things that were the hardest have
really helped shape us and build
character. Usually the worst things we
have gone through help make us the
strongest. 10. What’s one thing you always
procrastinate on? There is always a reason we
procrastinate that usually has to do with
our fears. This will help you connect with
your partner on a different level. These questions are a good start at
getting to know your partner. Start to
make a list of your favorite questions and
spend time every week getting to know
each other.
